Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are some countries which rely on
the
financial Correct article usage
apply
support
from the
other nations, Correct article usage
apply
nevertheless
, this
solution could not solve this
situation. Personally, I think this
behaviour is not helpful, the others should provide other types of support
to end this
problem.
Firstly
, analysing the root of the current situation. There are plenty of reasons might
cause a government underfunded, Correct pronoun usage
that might
such
as natural disaster
, civil Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
war
or unaffordable Fix the agreement mistake
wars
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
on
Change preposition
apply
the
policies. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, finding out the factors which cause the current situation is the most crucial thing to do. Before funding the poor nations, sending a research group to search the core of the problem will be a better idea. Then
, according to
the result
and feedback from the experts, a more suitable Fix the agreement mistake
results
support
project will come out.
Secondly
, a team which is expert in solving the issue could be beter
than the economic Correct your spelling
better
support
. For example
, Taiwan sent a group of elites to Africa in order to save the people
there from the drought and starving
. At that time, experts noticed that the types of crops which Replace the word
starvation
african
Change the capitalization
African
people
used to plant did not have the tolerance to survive from
the dry and hot environment. Change preposition
in
According to
this
result, the
they looked into various Remove the article
apply
type
of crops which could live with less water, Fix the agreement mistake
types
then
they did it and tried Correct word choice
and then
it
on the soil. After two years Correct pronoun usage
them
effort
, the harvested crops brought enough food for the Change preposition
of effort
people
, and this
resuced
Correct your spelling
reduced
rescued
people
from starving.
In general, there are various of
reasons Change preposition
apply
could
related to Correct pronoun usage
that could
a
difficult Correct article usage
the
circumstance
of a country. Rather Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
keep
providing economic Correct word choice
than keep
invest
and Replace the word
investment
fund
, solving the problem from the key point Fix the agreement mistake
funds
couldbe
more useful.Correct your spelling
could be
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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential components of the IELTS writing task. The introduction should clearly state your position on the argument and the conclusion should summarise your main points and restate your opinion.
logical structure
You need to work on sentence structure and paragraphing to enhance the readability and flow of your essay. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea and sentences should be varied in structure and length to create rhythm.
supported main points
Include more developed and specific examples to support your arguments. While you have some examples, they need to be more detailed and directly tied to the points you are making to strengthen your argument.
complete response
Make sure that the response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. You should elaborate on why you agree or disagree with the statement and provide comprehensive explanations and examples.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay would benefit from clearer development of ideas and a more thorough explanation of your points. Each paragraph should explore a unique aspect of your argument with clarity and depth.
relevant specific examples
Increase the relevance and detail of your examples. The examples should be directly related to the argument and serve to solidify your viewpoint. Additionally, ensure that all examples are specific, relevant, and support your main points effectively.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.