Fossil fuel is the main source of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. To what extent do you think is it a positive or negative development?

Currently, fossil
fuels
are replaced by renewable
soucres
Correct your spelling
sources
as the prime
souces
Correct your spelling
sources
show examples
in several nations. The writer of
this
essay contends that it is a beneficial development
due to
preventing pollution and minimising the cost of generation. To commence with, using natural
sources
is more friendly for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
In other words
, some
energy
sources
which are produced from wind or solar do not exhaust
fume
Fix the agreement mistake
fumes
show examples
or harmful
subtances
Correct your spelling
substances
that can cause environmental problems.
As a result
, they can reduce the amount of polluted atmosphere, oil or water, leading to fresh habitats for every creature in the world. Take,
for example
, Vietnam, where 30% of wind
energy
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
fostered in the west of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
which
also
declined 20% of air pollution
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
since 2020.
Additionally
, the affordable cost of producing alternative
energy
sources
must be considered. To be more specific, because renewable
sources
are made from available elements in nature, people
need
Add a missing verb
do need
show examples
not
to
Remove the word
apply
show examples
pay
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
discovery
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fossil
fuels
.
Moreover
, the process of generating
these
Change the determiner
this energy
these energies
show examples
energy
do
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does
show examples
not require any high expenditure,
while
there are many industrial steps in manufacturing the fossil
fuels
which are costly.
Consequently
, the firms who are responsible for forming
these
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this energy
these energies
show examples
energy
will economise a large amount of money in their budget, spending them on other crucial categories.
For instance
, The New York Times in 20210 showed that 200 companies in France simply saved 70% of operation costs since they changed from oil to solar
energy
to produce. In conclusion, utilizing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alternative
energy
sources
assists organizations
economise
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in economising
show examples
their budgets
as well as
provides
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
high-quality environments for the creatures.
Hence
, replacing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fossil
fuels
with natural
resouces
Correct your spelling
resources
is more advantageous in some countries.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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task achievement
The essay answers the question and supports the position with specific examples. However, it would benefit from further development of the main ideas to provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings are present. Correcting these would improve the clarity and readability of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are fully developed, with topic sentences clearly indicating the main idea of each paragraph.
task achievement
The essay contains specific and relevant examples supporting the main points, which strengthens the argument.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, providing a logical structure.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy sources
  • wind, solar, and hydroelectric power
  • sustainable solution
  • finite resources
  • inexhaustible
  • economic growth
  • renewable energy infrastructure
  • health benefits
  • respiratory diseases
  • energy independence
  • energy security
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