IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Government
 should provide good and effective
health
 services to all populations thoroughly. I totally agree with
this
 concept and I will elaborate my opinion in the following paragraph.
Firstly
,
Health
 is a very important thing for every
people
 in the community. In fact, numerous individuals have been living in poor conditions around the
world
. Most of them can not access basic needs and
health
 services. Some country has a lot of
problem
 in term of public service, and
finally
, it raises
problem
 all around the
world
.
For example
, Covid-19 disease
initially
 occurred in some areas and
then
 it spread to many countries.
As a result
, the
government
 must spend a huge of resources to solve the
problem
.
Secondly
, Providing
health
 service have to come up with motivating and
support
Wrong verb form
supporting
show examples
people
 so that they know and understand how to take care of their
health
 correctly. In
this
 way, The
government
 have to build good relationship and cooperation with all section of the community, particularly to establish participation with the local community in order to protect and solve the
problem
 associated with public
health
.
For instance
, Some countries have been encouraging local volunteers to spread correct information to local
people
. In conclusion, a good
health
 service is essential for all human beings in the
world
. Especially, the
people
 who live in poor conditions around the
world
. the
government
 have to foster and serve public
health
 to all population.
Finally
,
this
 can bring plenty of benefits to the overview of the nation and globally.
Submitted by mahawichet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, at least two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task response, you should include a more precise thesis statement and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Supporting your points with specific examples and explanations will strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: