IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
#diagrams #show #changes #place #queen #mary #construction
The diagrams show the developments which took place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
Overall
, a comparison of the 3 maps reveals a change
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
centre
 to a big
centre
. In 1960, the map
illustrate
Wrong verb form
illustrated
show examples
 four buildings
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as shopping
centre
,
hospital
Correct article usage
a hospital
show examples
, farmland and
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
park
, but during the next 20
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 more of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 structures
have been
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 changed.
For instance
, the building to the left of the hospital was knocked down and replaced by
cancer
Correct article usage
a cancer
show examples
centre
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the hospital
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 got a pharmacy.
Furthermore
, the farmland to the left of the
car
park
 was turned into
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 nursing school. Changes were interesting in 2000. Buildings from below
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 road and
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 left of the hospital and
car
park
 were removed and combined into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one building
calling
Wrong verb form
called
show examples
cancer
Correct article usage
the cancer
show examples
centre
, but the nursing school was saved and moved to the
car
park
.
Generally
Add a comma
Generally,
show examples
 the changes did not affect the hospital and parking.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words centre, car, park with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 4 times.
▼
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