IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Students in university should be specialized in one subject rather than to develop a wider range of knowledge in many different subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #university #range #subjects
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Some people may hold the opinion that college students are better trained
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a particular subject
instead
 of
master
Wrong verb form
mastering
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 various disciplines with exclusive knowledge. I’m strongly against
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
this
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 view. First and foremost, mono-knowledge is not applicable in the real
word
Correct your spelling
world
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. In the workplace, the employer
appreciate
Change the verb form
appreciates
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 people with multi-knowledge in several areas.
For instance
, the requirements for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recruiting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a teaching assistant in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 institution are diverse, including
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teaching skills,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effieiency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
 of administrative
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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communication skills, and even managing abilities. In an elementary school, the professors are multi-skills as well.
Like an
Change preposition
An
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 English teacher should
also
 have certain knowledge
in
Change preposition
of
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 Chinese since languages are highly connected with each other.
And a
Correct word choice
A
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 specialist in chemicals may
also
 participate in the training of mathematics.
Besides
, the master of multiple knowledge in
a versatile subjects
Correct the article-noun agreement
versatile subjects
a versatile subject
show examples
 is
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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 for our growth and development. In
this
 day and age, we are facing new challenges and opportunities.
Single subject
Add a hyphen
Single-subject
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 learning is outdated
in
Change preposition
to
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 some degree, for the majority of us may not focus on a single area for the rest of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For example
, a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of teachers altered their career path to overseas sales and Youtubers in the past few years because of the policy and limitations announced by the government.
Furthermore
, when it comes to a new environment, a wider range of skills enable us to live better in the future. All in all, focusing on a preferred and compulsory subject is crucial, but all-round learning should not be neglected in any
cases
Fix the agreement mistake
case
show examples
.
Submitted by p223395 on

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introduction conclusion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion outlining your main argument and summarizing your points. The conclusion should reflect more clearly the arguments presented.
logical structure
Develop a clear and logical structure to your essay by organizing ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a single focus. Transitions between paragraphs should be more seamless to enhance flow.
supported main points
Support each main point with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument. Avoid overly general statements that do not add weight to your points.
complete response
Fully address all parts of the task and ensure your opinion is clear throughout the essay. Make sure to reflect your level of agreement or disagreement with the prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to make them comprehensive. Ensure that the ideas expressed are relevant to the topic and contribute to the overall argument.
relevant specific examples

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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