IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
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In the past, it was common for
people
Use synonyms
 to live and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
work in the
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
. Nowadays, many
people
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 are more popular to stay and to get
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 in the cities,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
 the
inhabitants
Correct quantifier usage
number of inhabitants
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 in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 have
rose
Wrong verb form
risen
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 considerably. In
this
Linking Words
 essay I will argue that moving from
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
, on
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, is essential for getting a new
job
Use synonyms
 and expanding the experiences,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, it has an impact on
economic
Add an article
the economic
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 downturn in
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
. The main reason
making
Verb problem
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 relocate to the urban area is to find a new
job
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 which is the paramount aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 human life. The difficulties
to fulfil
Change preposition
in fulfilling
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic needs lead to
people
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 it in the urban on the grounds that
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
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 provide many
job
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 opportunities that
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
can
affordable
Wrong verb form
be afforded
show examples
 easily.
In addition
Linking Words
,
city
Add an article
the city
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 is central
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
state
Correct article usage
the state
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,
trades
Fix the agreement mistake
trade
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, education and many
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
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in
Change preposition
of
show examples
human
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the human
show examples
 being so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
society tend to find new experiences and broaden their horizon in the metropolitan which support
people
Use synonyms
’s capability at work. Urbanisation,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, gives some benefit for urban development in many sectors of life,
This
Linking Words
 may cause of economic downturn in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. The decrease in economic growth is a result of
lacking
Wrong verb form
a lack
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 human resources moving to the city. Many
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
leaved
Correct your spelling
left
show examples
 their
job
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in
fishing
Correct article usage
the fishing
show examples
, ranching and farming
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
which are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important resources for economic growth in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 condition will cause a serious problem in providing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food supply for local
people
Use synonyms
. The economic recession will
be continue
Change the verb form
continue
show examples
 as long as
urbanisation
Correct article usage
the urbanisation
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 process. In conclusion, urbanisation
beside have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 essential part for
people
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 to find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
and enhance
the
Change the word
their
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, it
also
Linking Words
 has an impact on economic recession in
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure you have a clear introduction and conclusion that restate the essay question and clearly state your position. Your essay should have a recognizable structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Cohesion and Coherence
Work on developing logical paragraphs, each with a clear main idea and supporting sentences. Use a range of linking words and phrases to help create coherence. Avoid irrelevant details that do not support the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a broader range of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance coherence and to effectively answer the essay question. Be clear in expressing your ideas and logically sequence information.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task adequately, ensuring comprehensive coverage of the topic. Your answer must be relevant to the question, consistently maintain a position, and discuss ideas in-depth with relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
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