The bar chart below illustrates the amount of time spent on various leisure activities by men and women in a given town in 2019.

#bar #amount #time #leisure #activities #men #women #town

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The bar graph illustrates the amount of time spent by travellers on three main activities namely at the

beach

Use synonyms

, reading books,

visiting

Correct word choice

and visiting

show examples

places

Use synonyms

by both genders in a given town in year of 2019. The data has been calibrated in terms of numbers.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is clearly seen that the highest number of

hours

Use synonyms

were spent on reading books.

While

Linking Words

the least time was spent on visiting new

places

Use synonyms

in the given year.

According to

Linking Words

the given data, the largest number of

hours

Use synonyms

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

been spent by Chinese tourists on reading books. Followed by Brazilian residents who invest 6

hours

Use synonyms

at the

beach

Use synonyms

area.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the least time was spent on exploring

places

Use synonyms

by all the countries travellers. Moving

further

Linking Words

, American as well Turkish travellers spent equal

hours

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

reading

as well as

Linking Words

at the

beach

Use synonyms

respectively.

Therefore

Linking Words

chinese

Change the capitalization

Chinese

show examples

people invest their 3

hours

Use synonyms

at the

Use synonyms

beach side

Correct your spelling

beachside

show examples

Lastly

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the turkish

show examples

turkish

Change the capitalization

Turkish

show examples

and

american

Change the capitalization

American

show examples

public spend nearly 3

hours

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

visiting

places

Use synonyms

Submitted by svmaibcamaibs on Thu Nov 23 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words beach, places, hours with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

160 words

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The bar chart below illustrates the amount of time spent on various leisure activities by men and women in a given town in 2019.

Some people believe that when deciding how taxpayers' money is spent, governments should prioritise health care, while others believe that there are other priorities to spend this money.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think that the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages ? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.

Some people think that the main purpose of school and university education should be to prepare people for work. Others, however, think that the true role of education is to make us better citizens. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the prevention of health problems is more important than the treatment of illness and disease and that Government funding should reflect this?What is your opinion?