The bar chart below illustrates the amount of time spent on various leisure activities by men and women in a given town in 2019.

#bar #amount #time #leisure #activities #men #women #town

The bar graph illustrates the amount of time spent by travellers on three main activities namely at the

beach

, reading books,

visiting

Correct word choice

and visiting

show examples

places

by both genders in a given town in year of 2019. The data has been calibrated in terms of numbers.

Overall

, it is clearly seen that the highest number of

hours

were spent on reading books.

While

the least time was spent on visiting new

places

in the given year.

According to

the given data, the largest number of

hours

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

been spent by Chinese tourists on reading books. Followed by Brazilian residents who invest 6

hours

at the

beach

area.

Moreover

, the least time was spent on exploring

places

by all the countries travellers. Moving

further

, American as well Turkish travellers spent equal

hours

Change preposition

apply

show examples

reading

as well as

at the

beach

respectively.

Therefore

chinese

Change the capitalization

Chinese

show examples

people invest their 3

hours

at the

beach side

Correct your spelling

beachside

show examples

Lastly

Correct article usage

the turkish

show examples

turkish

Change the capitalization

Turkish

show examples

and

american

Change the capitalization

American

show examples

public spend nearly 3

hours

Change preposition

apply

show examples

visiting

places

Submitted by svmaibcamaibs on Thu Nov 23 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words beach, places, hours with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

160 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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