These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country.

Nowadays lots of people pursue their careers or students overseas. They have many benefits or face some difficulties for significant periods of time. Many people decide to look for a job or study in other countries. They have many benefits to both work and study. In my opinion, they get many experiences likeability and they will earn a
lot
of money.
Similarly
, studying abroad will allow them to meet a
lot
of students from many countries.
In addition
, they can expand their skill and knowledge.
For example
, my friend studied in the United States, her perspective was more open-minded than mine
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because she had a
lot
of experience when she studied there.
On the other hand
, people who are pursuing their careers or studies abroad
left
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
different cultures
such
as food, and language for the first time. It is hard for her to follow a new culture. She spent time in her hostel for a few months because she felt homesick. In conclusion, starting life in a new country is never easy. You must improve yourself and learn to solve the culture shock. I believe that the benefits It is having a
lot
of money abroad or expanding our knowledge if we are pursuing our job or studying overseas. Despite the disadvantages, there are some advantages to studying in other countries.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
The essay lacks a clear introduction that sets the context for the topic and a thesis statement that broadly outlines what will be discussed. Consider rewriting the introduction to better introduce the topic and clearly state the essay's focus.
conclusion
The conclusion is present but doesn't effectively summarize the main points of the essay. It could be improved by restating the advantages and disadvantages discussed and providing a final thought or recommendation that reflects the writer's overall position.
logical structure
The essay does not display a clear and logical structure. Paragraphs should be organized with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea. Use linking words and transitions to connect ideas and paragraphs.
supported main points
The essay provides a general discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of living abroad but lacks depth. Each point should be expanded with more detailed explanations, and specific examples should be provided to illustrate the arguments.
complete response
The response is incomplete as it does not fully address the prompt. The task requires a discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of living and working abroad, but your examples and explanations are sparse. Ensure that you devote equal time to discussing both sides to fully meet the task requirements.
clear comprehensive ideas
While some ideas regarding advantages and disadvantages are mentioned, they need to be more fully expanded and clearly explained. The response would benefit from more comprehensive development of points and a clearer articulation of ideas to enhance the essay's clarity and comprehensiveness.
relevant specific examples
Real-world, relevant examples are needed to support the points being made. Examples should be specific and detailed to effectively illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!