115.Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entretainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some say that if

people

Use synonyms

let children decide their everyday matters, in the future they will only think about themselves,

while

Linking Words

others

Use synonyms

would argue that children should make their own

choices

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay would argue that

although

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

might be more selfish if individuals make their own

choices

Use synonyms

, they will be more independent and will enjoy their lives. On the one hand,

people

Use synonyms

will think that they are the centre of the world, so they will think that everyone should listen to them.

This

Linking Words

is because normally,

people

Use synonyms

make

decisions

Use synonyms

in favour of themselves, and nobody has taught them what is correct or incorrect, so

people

Use synonyms

will think that everything they do is right.

This

Linking Words

will cause that when individuals start working, they will only carry out activities that benefit themselves. Recent research concluded that around 31% of Spanish

people

Use synonyms

who grew up making their own

choices

Use synonyms

were more selfish and did not think about

others

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, in my opinion, these cases are rare, and there are more advantages.

On the other hand

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

will not depend on

others

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because they have learnt about how to make

decisions

Use synonyms

, and which ones are the best, they have their own thoughts and will not be influenced by

others

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

will be happier because they are doing what they like. Since they do not need to listen to

others

Use synonyms

and do what they are told ,

instead

Linking Words

, they can follow their own ideas.

For instance

Linking Words

, a survey done by Chinese

people

Use synonyms

concluded that individuals were happier when they could participate in their work by giving their own ideas and making their own

decisions

Use synonyms

. I believe, allowing

people

Use synonyms

to make their own

decisions

Use synonyms

can lead to a better society. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

might be selfish when they are told to make their own

decisions

Use synonyms

, they are

also

Linking Words

happier and independent, and I,

therefore

Linking Words

, believe

that is

Linking Words

better to allow children to make their own

choices

Use synonyms

elenazheng1211Thu Nov 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and present a full perspective of your view. Avoid overly broad generalizations and strive for a precise articulation of your thesis and conclusive remarks.

Logical Structure

Develop a logical, clear structure within your essay. Connect ideas with appropriate transition words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next. Avoid abrupt shifts in topic or argument.

Supporting Main Points

Support your main points with detailed examples and explanations. Use relevant, specific instances or research that directly relates to the argument you're making. Avoid vague or general statements that do not concretely back up your position.

Complete Response

Respond fully to the task by addressing all parts of the prompt. Make sure your ideas comprehensively cover the topic and that your opinion is clear throughout the essay. Avoid unfocused or incomplete explanations.

Clear and Comprehensive Ideas

Clarify your ideas by organizing them into a coherent structure and developing them fully. Make your essay easy to follow by clearly expressing your thoughts and the connections between them.

Relevant Specific Examples

Use examples that are directly relevant to the point you are making. Incorporate specific details to illustrate your arguments and provide evidence for your claims. Avoid using examples that are too general or do not add value to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
It is true that in the modern world, some animals start to enter the phase of becoming extinct due to some actions that happen to them, such as hunting for fun only. While I believe that in the past people depended on animals for food, however, now humans have various resources for food like vegetables. There are some solutions that can be taken to save these animals.
6
band
Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Growing interest in children’s behaviour has been highlighted over the past decades. From this aspect, questions about if children behave badly, their parents should accept commitment and be punished for the behaviour of their children arise. In my opinion, parents should accept responsibility and also be punished to some extent.
6
band
A rise in the use of mobile phones in the classroom by school children is severely impacting their concentration in class and overall education development. What are the causes of the problem and what can be done to solve it ?
Nowadays, each student has his own mobile phone. Some are claiming that carring their mobile phone to school would influence their focus. In my opinion, the main reason for this issue is attaching games that are downloading to their device. This problem could be solved by collaboration between schools and parents to overcome this dilemma.
6.5
band
Now a days more and more people are migrating to developed countries for higher education and better employment opportunities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this type of migration?
These days, many people are shifting to sophisticated countries looking for better opportunities in terms of education and employment. Such movement has both merits and demerits due to the exposure to unfamiliar places which helps to broaden the horizon of masses. This essay will discuss both the positives and the negatives that are associated with migration to international territories.
6.5
band
Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the government's responsibility.Discuss both these views and give your opinion
In contemporary society, local authorities often invest heavily in various sectors, particularly public schools, kindergartens, and health care centres. While some argue that it is not the government's duty to fund these areas, I side with those who believe that providing free health care and schooling is essential.

Your opinion

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

A rise in the use of mobile phones in the classroom by school children is severely impacting their concentration in class and overall education development. What are the causes of the problem and what can be done to solve it ?

Now a days more and more people are migrating to developed countries for higher education and better employment opportunities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this type of migration?

Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the government's responsibility.Discuss both these views and give your opinion