115.Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entretainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some say that if
people
let children decide their everyday matters, in the future they will only think about themselves, while
others
would argue that children should make their own choices
. This
essay would argue that although
people
might be more selfish if individuals make their own choices
, they will be more independent and will enjoy their lives.
On the one hand, people
will think that they are the centre of the world, so they will think that everyone should listen to them. This
is because normally, people
make decisions
in favour of themselves, and nobody has taught them what is correct or incorrect, so people
will think that everything they do is right. This
will cause that when individuals start working, they will only carry out activities that benefit themselves. Recent research concluded that around 31% of Spanish people
who grew up making their own choices
were more selfish and did not think about others
. However
, in my opinion, these cases are rare, and there are more advantages.
On the other hand
, people
will not depend on others
. This
is because they have learnt about how to make decisions
, and which ones are the best, they have their own thoughts and will not be influenced by others
. Also
, people
will be happier because they are doing what they like. Since they do not need to listen to others
and do what they are told , instead
, they can follow their own ideas. For instance
, a survey done by Chinese people
concluded that individuals were happier when they could participate in their work by giving their own ideas and making their own decisions
. I believe, allowing people
to make their own decisions
can lead to a better society.
In conclusion, although
people
might be selfish when they are told to make their own decisions
, they are also
happier and independent, and I, therefore
, believe that is
better to allow children to make their own choices
.Submitted by elenazheng1211 on
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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and present a full perspective of your view. Avoid overly broad generalizations and strive for a precise articulation of your thesis and conclusive remarks.
Logical Structure
Develop a logical, clear structure within your essay. Connect ideas with appropriate transition words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next. Avoid abrupt shifts in topic or argument.
Supporting Main Points
Support your main points with detailed examples and explanations. Use relevant, specific instances or research that directly relates to the argument you're making. Avoid vague or general statements that do not concretely back up your position.
Complete Response
Respond fully to the task by addressing all parts of the prompt. Make sure your ideas comprehensively cover the topic and that your opinion is clear throughout the essay. Avoid unfocused or incomplete explanations.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify your ideas by organizing them into a coherent structure and developing them fully. Make your essay easy to follow by clearly expressing your thoughts and the connections between them.
Relevant Specific Examples
Use examples that are directly relevant to the point you are making. Incorporate specific details to illustrate your arguments and provide evidence for your claims. Avoid using examples that are too general or do not add value to your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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