IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In many workplaces, online communication is getting more and more common than meeting face to face. do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#workplaces #communication #face #outweigh
After COVID, online communications are considered vastly in many fields, especially workplaces,
this
 essay illustrates that the advantages of
this
 trend are more significant than the disadvantages.
To begin
 with, through online meetings and interviews, people would avoid unnecessary trips and save time,
for instance
, someone who has to do five interviews in a day can not reach all of them considering traffic and the fact that they could be far from each other.
On the other hand
, companies can have conferences around the country and even the world without spending money and time to travel there.
Additionally
, by being able to communicate online, remote work becomes more popular day by day,
thus
 employers can recruit qualified staff from
further
 cities,
also
 migration to bigger cities wouldn't be necessary for those who are opting for a job.
On the other hand
, working and having online conferences can affect communication skills, in the long term,
this
 kind of communication may become the main way. In
this
 condition, people may be more at home and might have problems with physical communication,
furthermore
, it would not be healthy.
However
, these are not certain problems and could be solved.
To conclude
, the trend of online meetings is useful and its benefits of saving time and financial growth, totally outweigh all the negatives.
Submitted by Farzaneh Ka on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Develop a stronger introduction that clearly states the essay's direction and purpose. Ensure that both the introduction and conclusion encapsulate the main ideas of the essay while signaling the beginning and end of the discussion.
logical structure
Ensure the logical sequence of ideas is maintained throughout the essay. Transition between sentences and paragraphs smoothly to help the reader follow the argument more easily.
supported main points
Provide clear support for your main points with examples or evidence to strengthen your argument. This is important for helping the reader understand and be convinced by your point of view.
complete response
Fully address the question, ensuring that you discuss both sides of the argument sufficiently before reaching a conclusion, as this shows a complete response to the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
While your ideas are clear, work on elaborating and explaining them in more depth for a more comprehensive answer to the question. The complexity and thoroughness of your argumentation are crucial.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific and relevant examples to back up your claims. This would help illustrate your points more vividly and make your argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: