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Band 4.5

Today more countries import food different parts of the world. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.-Topic

#countries #import #food #parts #world #trend #-topic
Hello, Dear Christine, How are you? I was really happy when I heard that you are visiting my house but unfortunately, I am away on holiday now so, I can not be with you at my home. I have recently moved to a new house and you do not know my new address so, I will explain to you the destination of my new house. It is located near the school.
Moreover
, there is an old shop building next to it. I hope you will find it soon. I would like you to feel free there and I want to request you to do some housework for me. Please paint the door of my room. You know that, I really like raising animals. I have a fluff puppy called MIMI. Its leg was recently injured so, I want you to take care of it if you can. I think
,
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 you can do it. The most important thing is that comfortable conditions have been created in my home for relaxation.
For example
, there is a swimming pool in the middle of the yard.
Besides
, there is a big and beautiful garden in the backyard. I hope you will enjoy staying at my home. I look forward to your response. Best regards, Durdona.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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task achievement
Your essay is off topic. This essay prompt required you to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of countries importing food from different parts of the world. Instead, you wrote an informal letter to a friend about your house and pet. It's crucial to stay on topic to achieve a higher score.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your text does not follow an essay format and lacks a logical flow of ideas pertinent to the essay question. In an IELTS essay, you're expected to have an introduction where you paraphrase the question, define the structure of your essay, and then have body paragraphs where you present the advantages and disadvantages, followed by a conclusion that summarizes your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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