The time people devote to the job leaves very little time for personal life. How widespread is the problem? What problem will this shortage of time cause?
The contemporary
men and women are spending more Correct article usage
Contemporary
time
at work. This
is not restricted to a single society and prevalent
in many nations. The magnitude of Add a missing verb
is prevalent
this
prevalence will be discussed in this
essays
Fix the agreement mistake
essay
while
also
underscoring the reasons for the same.
I opine that major
cause why Correct article usage
a major
people
have less time
is because of the rising cost of living. The cost of essential goods and services is Escalating year by year without considerable
increase in salaries. Add an article
a considerable
This
leads a
numerous Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
people
to work even more harder to keep up with their regular expenses. Secondly
, the
peer pressure is Correct article usage
apply
also
a reason for people
to have lesser
leisure Correct word choice
less
time
. For example
, many people
like to stay abreast of their friends' lifestyle
to be accepted into their social circle, which prompts them to Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
expend
more hours at work or to take up multiple jobs. The reason why I believe Verb problem
spend
this
is widespread because
online social platforms, Add a missing verb
is because
such
as Facebook, is
omnipresent in every income group . There, Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
often post the
pictures Correct article usage
apply
about
their expensive dresses, new cars, and so on ; Change preposition
of
as a result
, it is difficult to escape peer pressure in this
era of heightened connectivity. With that being said, it has many negative impacts on people
's lives.
First of all, it deteriorates mental-wellbeing
of a person. To illustrate, if a professional did not have Replace the word
the mental well-being
time
for his personal amusement and social needs, it would lead to overall
dissatisfaction with life. As well as
this
, it leads to weight and obesity because spending more time
at Correct article usage
the workplaces
workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
also
mean
sacrificing exercise Correct subject-verb agreement
means
time
. It is also
understandble
that Correct your spelling
understandable
people
become mentally and physically fatigued after exerting a lot of effort and time
at their occupation. Consequently
, this
makes them to
prioritize less demanding activities, like talking to the family or watching TV, over physical activities.
In conclusion, I am not surprised by the workaholism culture in many countries Change the verb form
apply
due to
peer pressure and rising inflation year-after-year
. Correct your spelling
year after year
It's
repercussions on the mental and physical health of an individual are Correct your spelling
Its
also
well-known. I recommend that people
should maintain work-life
balance to foster a sustainable and healthy lifestyle.Add an article
a work-life
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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure that the essay has a clear logical structure, starting with an introduction that outlines the main points, continues with body paragraphs that support these points with relevant and varied examples, and concludes with a conclusion that summarizes the main ideas and presents a final thought.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences and subsequent sentences that expand on these topics in a logical and cohesive manner, avoiding unnecessary repetition or overly general statements. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to ensure the smooth flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the prompt directly and devote at least one paragraph to each sub-question. Ensure that the ideas presented are relevant and supported by specific examples or explanations, rather than being too general or off-topic.
Task Achievement
Engage with the prompt by offering clear, comprehensive responses to each aspect of the task, demonstrating an understanding of the issues and offering specific, illustrative examples to substantiate your points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?