The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by providing at least six years of free education for each child, so that all children can read, write and use numbers.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Poornes has been a major problem in developing countries and unfortunately, many kids in the poor countries still
difficulty
Add a missing verb
have difficulty
show examples
paying for their
education
.
However
, some people believe that free
education
for at least six years for every kid
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
necessarily needed so that all
children
can learn how to read, write, and count numbers. I strongly agree with
this
opinion, and in
this
essay, I will elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
reasons.
To begin
with,
education
is one of the keys to the advancement of the country.
This
could be one of the reasons why elementary
school
, which is the first sixth stage of learning is essential and should be paid for at zero cost. After 6 years, all the
children
will obtain
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
show examples
, skills, and understanding that
necessary
Add a missing verb
are necessary
show examples
to
success
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succeed
show examples
in
this
life, especially in the future .
Moreover
, there are probably some scholarships that they will get to continue their
education
, and can be the other way for them to become a successor of their
nation
.
For example
, The Ministry of
Education
Republic of Indonesia has a policy to make all the public schools in Jakarta, which is the capital city of Indonesia, free.
As a result
, 70% of kids who graduate from public
school
have good trackers, some of them take the next journey to university, and the rest of them are accepted by companies to work.
On the other hand
,
this
idea of free
education
can be the motivation for other
children
as well.
For instance
, a survey conducted by The
Nation
of
Children
Indonesia said that 50% of
children
who were previously not enrolled in
school
reveal the reason why they want to study in the
education
institution is that they look at their
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
who went to
school
every day, it motivates them and they curious about the feeling to become a student.
This
is totally a good movement, if there are a lot of
children
who want to
school
, the hope rate of the
nation
to get better in development is high.
To sum up
, not paying for the tuition fees for the first six years of learning for
children
is absolutely the best solution for a poor country because kids are the next generation and
also
the
decider
Fix the agreement mistake
deciders
show examples
of the
nation
's luck in the future.
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Introduction
Ensure that your introduction sets a clear thesis statement that reflects your view on the topic clearly and directly. Avoid vague expressions and work on a more precise thesis statement.
Body Paragraphs
Work on constructing well-organized paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, and all supporting sentences should relate directly to that idea.
Conclusion
Develop a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion in a definitive manner.
Grammar
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors that might undermine the clarity of your argument. For example, 'poornes' should be 'poverty,' and 'children will obtain knowledge, skills, and understanding that necessary to success' should be corrected to 'children will obtain the knowledge, skills, and understanding that are necessary for success.'
Supporting Examples
Ensure that examples and ideas are elaborated fully to support your main points. Use real-life examples and statistics to strengthen your argument.
Argument Consistency
Be consistent in your argumentation throughout the essay. All points made should be relevant to your thesis statement and contribute towards supporting your view on the issue.
Tone
Avoid colloquial language and maintain a formal academic tone throughout your essay. Phrases such as 'This is totally a good movement' could be phrased in a more formal manner, e.g., 'This significantly promotes educational engagement.'
Cohesion
In coherence and cohesion, strive to use a greater range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas and show the relationships between paragraphs and sentences.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy
  • numeracy
  • economic growth
  • skilled workforce
  • investment
  • employment opportunities
  • break the cycle of poverty
  • informed decisions
  • healthcare
  • infrastructure
  • access to technology
  • stable governance
  • challenges
  • cultural barriers
  • free education
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