Q: Shopping habits depend more on your age group than anything else. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The age group is said to influence more about
someone
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's shopping habits. I disagree with
this
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statement because there are others
such
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as
society
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or even the convenience of online shopping might affect
more on
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apply
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that
habit
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rather than age group. First and foremost, a Circle of friends or
society
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can influence
someone
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's
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habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
in terms of shopping.
This
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is because
people
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tend to follow the way
society
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behaves or their friends' lifestyles and if the circle tend to spend a lot of money buying new stuff, it will automatically change the person's lifestyle as well to become a big spender.
For example
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, The feeling of being left out is proven as the most crucial factor that explains
someone
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's
habit
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of spending money on luxury stuff.
This
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is actually happening in South Korea as it was nominated as the country with the biggest spending on luxury brands.
This
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is because their citizens are afraid of being left out in the
society
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.
Thus
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,
this
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explains why the role of
society
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is influential in changing
someone
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's
Use synonyms
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
. Nowadays, there are more ways to do shopping, rather than visiting the store like usual,
people
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are more opt to shop using online platforms
such
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as Amazon, Shopee, or Alibaba. Not only
it
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does it
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offer a convenient way to shop, but it
also
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can lead to impulsive buying.
For instance
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,
people
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spend a lot of their time in front of their gadgets and sometimes
people
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are attracted to browsing online shops.
Thus
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, it will cause a person to buy stuff that they actually
not
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do not
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need.
This
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convenient way to shop might cause
people
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to become impulsive and have a
habit
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of spending big amounts on shopping online. In conclusion,
The
Correct article usage
apply
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age group is not the most crucial factor in affecting
someone
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's spending habits. Other factors
such
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as
society
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or the existence of online shopping can be said to be the crucial point in changing
someone
Use synonyms
's habits.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay with a clear introduction, distinct main body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and logically flow from one to the other.
task achievement
Introduce your essay with a strong thesis statement outlining your position clearly. Ensure each paragraph reinforces this position, and conclude your essay with a summarising statement that reflects back on the thesis and the arguments you've presented.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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