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Band 2

One of the major problems that face today's goverments is creating enough sostis factory housing for their increasing population whilst still trying to protect the convironment. Disscuss this statement and your opinion

#face #goverments #sostis #factory #population #whilst #convironment #disscuss
The importance of. which was always debatable Has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial
while
 others reject
this
 notion. The substantial influence of
this
 trend has sparked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the former proposition appears to be more rational.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate my views for
favoring
Change the spelling
favouring
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 the positive/negative impact and
thus
, will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
, the first and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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foremost
reason
 behind
this
 is that. Another striking benefit in
this
 regard is that. Categorically discussing, it cannot be ignored that the main
reason
 behind
this
 is that. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 stems from the fact
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that. Moving
further
, it is pertinent to mention that.
Moreover
, .
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
 Apart from the
reason
 mentioned above, it can be clearly stated
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why many are against/in favour of
this
 trend. Conclusion In conclusion to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach
to
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apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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 gist that the benefits/drawbacks
of
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apply
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are indeed too great/dire to ignore.
Submitted by gtkmem2019 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear structure and development of ideas. The introduction and conclusion do not clearly introduce and summarize the topic, nor do they present a clear opinion.
task achievement
The essay does not adequately address the prompt, as it fails to discuss the specific issue of housing shortages in the context of environmental protection. It also lacks relevant examples and elaboration on the points made.
coherence cohesion
The sentences appear to be incoherent and do not logically connect to form a cohesive argument. Use linking words and phrases to better articulate the flow of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay needs to be developed with specific points supporting the stance taken by the writer. It should include examples and explanations to illustrate the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on constructing an introductory paragraph that sets the context and clearly states your viewpoint on the issue. Similarly, ensure the concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the essay's main points and restates your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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