NOWADAYS, PARENTS ARE ALLOWING THEIR CHILDREN TO USE TABLES AND SMARTPHONES TO ENHANCE LEARNING. DO THE ADVANTAGES OF THIS DEVELOPMENT OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?
Almost every parent, nowadays, not just allows children to use tablets and smartphones as a mean of learning, but
also
encourage them by giving these devices as gifts, like on their birthdays or on Linking Words
the
Christmas. Using electronic machines has many advantages, Correct article usage
apply
as well as
some harmful consequences.
Linking Words
To begin
Linking Words
with
the Add a comma
with,
the
facilities which are provided by these new instruments, I believe them to be like an entire library contained in a single book. In fact, you can search for any kind of books, articles or news you like to read. Remove the redundancy
apply
Moreover
, students don't have to bring heavyweight school bags on their Linking Words
back
, causing them Fix the agreement mistake
backs
a
poor back spine curvature over time, which could lead to serious health issues. In Correct article usage
apply
last
, Linking Words
these
Correct determiner usage
this
hardwares
could play a huge role in cognitive development, especially of Correct your spelling
hardware
right
side brain, through a number of activities like drawing, playing games, composing music and a lot more.
Correct article usage
the right
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages of these gadgets we cannot deny. Linking Words
For instance
, the blue light emitted by these screens is injurious Linking Words
for
Change preposition
to
the
eyesight and Correct article usage
apply
the
mental health as well, if used for a long period of time. Correct article usage
apply
Nonetheless
is the fact that studies showed a longer retention regarding the information learned from real books as compared to Linking Words
screened-books
.
Correct your spelling
screened books
To conclude
, I am of the idea that these devices Linking Words
has
many benefits, Change the verb form
have
as
providing all types of information and cognitive development, Correct quantifier usage
such as
as well as
some negative points, like eye muscles weakness. Linking Words
Therefore
, parents must be very conscious about their correct and balanced use by the youth.Linking Words
Submitted by syedbasat on
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task achievement
While your essay presents an introduction and conclusion, critical to a well-structured IELTS essay, the introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt. In your conclusion, ensure that you are summarizing the main points and clearly stating your position in relation to the question.
task achievement
Your main ideas are generally relevant, but they need to be developed more comprehensively. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea, supported by relevant specific examples or further explanation. This will help your essay meet the task's requirements and convey your ideas more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay needs a clear progression of ideas. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central topic that's expanded upon with supporting sentences. The use of connective words is good, but could be improved to demonstrate a higher level of coherence.
coherence and cohesion
You made a valiant effort to support your main points with examples, but the examples provided are somewhat generic. For a higher score, incorporate more detailed and specific instances or data to clearly illustrate your arguments.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...