IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. You should write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. You should write at least 150 words.
#amount #leisure #time #men #women #employment #status #report #university #lecturer #information
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The bar graph illustrates how much spare
time
Use synonyms
enjoyed
Add a missing verb
was enjoyed
show examples
 by males and
females
Use synonyms
 of various employment
status
Fix the agreement mistake
statuses
show examples
 in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1998 to 1999. It is clear from the graph that the amount of leisure
time
Use synonyms
men
Change preposition
for men
show examples
 was higher than
women’s
Change preposition
for women’s
show examples
 value in 3 out of 5 categories during the given period from 1998 to 1999.
Linking Words
While only
Correct word choice
Only
show examples
 the data for
females
Use synonyms
 was shown in 2 units including employed
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
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time
Use synonyms
 and housewives. Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that the record of men
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employed
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 had about 45
hours
Use synonyms
 of free
time
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 compared to the 38
hours
Use synonyms
spare
Change preposition
of spare
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 of women from 1998 to 1999. Between 1998 and 1999, there was a levelling off in the amount of leisure
time
Use synonyms
 in unemployed and retired categories by males
anf
Correct your spelling
and
females
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 had 80 and 75
hours
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, respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 only the figure for
females
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employed
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 was 40
hours
Use synonyms
 of leisure
time
Use synonyms
 from 1998 to 1999.
However
Linking Words
, the spare
time
Use synonyms
 of women in housewives was more than employed
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 by 10
hours
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, females, hours with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • employment status
  • full-time
  • part-time
  • unemployed
  • retired
  • disparity
  • illustrates
  • depicts
  • comparison
  • significant
  • notable
  • approximately
  • contrast
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • analyze
  • evaluate
  • data
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