In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to slove them?

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These days,
overweight
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the overweight
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issue indeed is
most
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the most
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controversial topic around the world. In some nations, people's weight is increased and their fitness and health ratio are decreased tremendously. There are some main reasons for
this
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trend and some feasible solutions could be addressed to cure
this
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issue.
This
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essay will examine
for
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this for
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the following reasons. To commence with, there are two major stems behind
this
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problem. One of the primary
reason
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reasons
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is that nowadays lifestyle because mankind neither free time nor interest to maintain their health.
This
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means in
this
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fast- paced
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fast-paced
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world, everybody be and
live
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lives
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in
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apply
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busy, so they do not have
more
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much
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time to
being
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be
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healthy.
For example
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, long hours of sitting in
office
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an office
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that
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apply
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can bring
sedentary
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a sedentary
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lifestyle,
they
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and they
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return back
to
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apply
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home and
take
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apply
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rest from heating work schedule, so,
this
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adverse situation
stimulates
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causes
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humans to be overweight,
coupled with
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a lack of exercise
also
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enhance
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enhances
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to get
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apply
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obesity issues. Despite these causes, there are some feasible solutions that can be solved. One of the remedies is that the government should create more
awarness
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awareness
towards the population about physical exercises
along with
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how to
being
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be
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fit rather than overweight
such
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as
billboards
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billboard
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awarness
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awareness
.
For instance
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, humankind should follow the health-based on
foods
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instead
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of junk
foods
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in order to they can stay
for
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apply
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away from obesity troubles.
Hence
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, doing physical exercise
as well as
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eating healthy
food stuff
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foodstuff
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together to solve
this
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problem effectively. In
condusion
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conclusion
confusion
,
sedentary
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a sedentary
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lifestyle stimulates overweight
to
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apply
show examples
humans
book
Verb problem
apply
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, even
thoughs
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though
creating
awarness
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awareness
by
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among
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the
govemment
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government
about physical
exercised
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exercise
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frequently, and
individual
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individuals
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try to
be followed
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follow
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healthy
foods
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only eat than packed.
foods
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are the solutions
of
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to
show examples
this
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issue.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, make sure each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. Using appropriate linking words can help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Improve your introduction by clearly outlining the main points you will discuss in your essay. This helps in setting a clear roadmap for the reader.
task achievement
While you have provided some relevant specific examples, try to ensure they are well-integrated into your essay. Furthermore, consider elaborating more on each example to enhance its effectiveness.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but they can be made more comprehensive by discussing both the causes and solutions in a bit more detail. This will likely make your response more complete and satisfying.
task achievement
You have identified some pertinent causes of the issue, such as a sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay displays a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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