In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods.This is having a negative effects on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
No one can deny that international fast
foods
are constantly on the rise in many countries. Even Correct article usage
the locals
locals population
are enjoying international Fix the agreement mistake
local populations
foods
more than traditional foods
. In this
paragraph , I totally agree that this
will lead to negative effects on both families and societies in health implications, as well as
on environmental concerns.
Firstly
, junk food
made with high calories , fat and sugar is harmful to human health, resulting in, medical issues or illness.For example
,Korean ramen and fried chicken are most enjoyable for teenagers in this
period,which can link to the global increase in obesity, diabetes or other health issues, sometimes, leading to psychological distress.Therefore
, both families and societies will have a huge impact on unhealthiness compared to traditional meal
.Fix the agreement mistake
meals
This
makes it clear that ,
consuming large Remove the comma
apply
amount
of junk Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
food
is bad for body
and mind.
Correct article usage
the body
Secondly
, fast food
production and packaging contribute significantly to environmental degradation.For instance
,most of the packaging products from overseas are made out of plastic materials ,so this
can be properly Correct pronoun usage
they
shiped
to Correct your spelling
shipped
shaped
another country
.Fix the agreement mistake
other countries
Hence
, improper disposal of plastic waste can cause pollution to flora and fauna.In contrast
, traditional food
preparation methods may be more sustainable and eco-friendly.This
becomes apparent that international junk food
cause
more harm than traditional Change the verb form
causes
food
.
In conclusion,local foods
are more healthy and environmentally friendly than imported foods
and also
represent history
and culture of the country.Obviously, Correct article usage
the history
this
pre-packaging food
will always have greater negative effects than positive effects,therefore
, traditional foods
should not be replaced by international fast foods
and we should treasure home-cooked meals more often.Submitted by tifjong on
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coherence cohesion
The essay attempts to maintain coherence with a basic structure, but it would benefit from clearer and more distinct paragraphing to enhance the logical flow. It is commendable that an introduction and conclusion are present; however, they could be strengthened with more precise thesis statements and summaries of the main points, respectively.
task achievement
Work on developing ideas more completely and ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed. While the broader topic is engaged with, there's room to explore the impact on families and societies more fully. Offer more elaboration on the psychological and cultural significance of traditional foods. Enhance the response by including a wider range of relevant, specific examples to support your points convincingly.