In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods.This is having a negative effects on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
No one can deny that international fast
foods
are constantly on the rise in many countries. Even Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the locals
locals population
are enjoying international Fix the agreement mistake
local populations
foods
more than traditional Use synonyms
foods
. In Use synonyms
this
paragraph , I totally agree that Linking Words
this
will lead to negative effects on both families and societies in health implications, Linking Words
as well as
on environmental concerns.
Linking Words
Firstly
, junk Linking Words
food
made with high calories , fat and sugar is harmful to human health, resulting in, medical issues or illness.Use synonyms
For example
,Korean ramen and fried chicken are most enjoyable for teenagers in Linking Words
this
period,which can link to the global increase in obesity, diabetes or other health issues, sometimes, leading to psychological distress.Linking Words
Therefore
, both families and societies will have a huge impact on unhealthiness compared to traditional Linking Words
meal
.Fix the agreement mistake
meals
This
makes it clear that Linking Words
,
consuming large Remove the comma
apply
amount
of junk Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
food
is bad for Use synonyms
body
and mind.
Correct article usage
the body
Secondly
, fast Linking Words
food
production and packaging contribute significantly to environmental degradation.Use synonyms
For instance
,most of the packaging products from overseas are made out of plastic materials ,so Linking Words
Linking Words
this
can be properly Correct pronoun usage
they
shiped
to Correct your spelling
shipped
shaped
another country
.Fix the agreement mistake
other countries
Hence
, improper disposal of plastic waste can cause pollution to flora and fauna.Linking Words
In contrast
, traditional Linking Words
food
preparation methods may be more sustainable and eco-friendly.Use synonyms
This
becomes apparent that international junk Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
cause
more harm than traditional Change the verb form
causes
food
.
In conclusion,local Use synonyms
foods
are more healthy and environmentally friendly than imported Use synonyms
foods
and Use synonyms
also
represent Linking Words
history
and culture of the country.Obviously, Correct article usage
the history
this
pre-packaging Linking Words
food
will always have greater negative effects than positive effects,Use synonyms
therefore
, traditional Linking Words
foods
should not be replaced by international fast Use synonyms
foods
and we should treasure home-cooked meals more often.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
The essay attempts to maintain coherence with a basic structure, but it would benefit from clearer and more distinct paragraphing to enhance the logical flow. It is commendable that an introduction and conclusion are present; however, they could be strengthened with more precise thesis statements and summaries of the main points, respectively.
task achievement
Work on developing ideas more completely and ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed. While the broader topic is engaged with, there's room to explore the impact on families and societies more fully. Offer more elaboration on the psychological and cultural significance of traditional foods. Enhance the response by including a wider range of relevant, specific examples to support your points convincingly.