In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods.This is having a negative effects on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

No one can deny that international fast
foods
are constantly on the rise in many countries. Even
Correct article usage
the locals
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locals population
Fix the agreement mistake
local populations
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are enjoying international
foods
more than traditional
foods
. In
this
paragraph , I totally agree that
this
will lead to negative effects on both families and societies in health implications,
as well as
on environmental concerns.
Firstly
, junk
food
made with high calories , fat and sugar is harmful to human health, resulting in, medical issues or illness.
For example
,Korean ramen and fried chicken are most enjoyable for teenagers in
this
period,which can link to the global increase in obesity, diabetes or other health issues, sometimes, leading to psychological distress.
Therefore
, both families and societies will have a huge impact on unhealthiness compared to traditional
meal
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meals
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.
This
makes it clear that
,
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apply
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consuming large
amount
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amounts
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of junk
food
is bad for
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
and mind.
Secondly
, fast
food
production and packaging contribute significantly to environmental degradation.
For instance
,most of the packaging products from overseas are made out of plastic materials ,so
this
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can be properly
shiped
Correct your spelling
shipped
shaped
to
another country
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other countries
show examples
.
Hence
, improper disposal of plastic waste can cause pollution to flora and fauna.
In contrast
, traditional
food
preparation methods may be more sustainable and eco-friendly.
This
becomes apparent that international junk
food
cause
Change the verb form
causes
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more harm than traditional
food
. In conclusion,local
foods
are more healthy and environmentally friendly than imported
foods
and
also
represent
history
Correct article usage
the history
show examples
and culture of the country.Obviously,
this
pre-packaging
food
will always have greater negative effects than positive effects,
therefore
, traditional
foods
should not be replaced by international fast
foods
and we should treasure home-cooked meals more often.
Submitted by tifjong on

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coherence cohesion
The essay attempts to maintain coherence with a basic structure, but it would benefit from clearer and more distinct paragraphing to enhance the logical flow. It is commendable that an introduction and conclusion are present; however, they could be strengthened with more precise thesis statements and summaries of the main points, respectively.
task achievement
Work on developing ideas more completely and ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed. While the broader topic is engaged with, there's room to explore the impact on families and societies more fully. Offer more elaboration on the psychological and cultural significance of traditional foods. Enhance the response by including a wider range of relevant, specific examples to support your points convincingly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural identity
  • heritage
  • culinary practices
  • prevalent
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • diet-related health issues
  • economic challenges
  • street food vendors
  • family dynamics
  • on-the-go
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable
  • eco-friendly
  • homogenization
  • foodscapes
  • agricultural diversity
  • biodiversity
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