IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Ambition is being emphasized in today’s society. How important do you think it is for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

#ambition #today’s #society #people #life
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In the realm of accomplishment, today's society values
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ambition
Use synonyms
 as a must-have mentality to succeed in
life
Use synonyms
 pursuit. In my viewpoint, to some extent,
ambition
Use synonyms
 plays both crucial and significant roles as a strong drive for someone to pursue almost anything that they want in
life
Use synonyms
. Everybody has a goal in many aspects of our
life
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, from work, health, and
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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. Some people believe that having a dream is not enough to pursue something we desire
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Here,
ambition
Use synonyms
 will fit its role as
a
Remove the article
apply
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fuel to constantly ignite the spirit in pursuit of achievements. Getting accepted into Harvard University,
for instance
Linking Words
, is a dream for some people around the world to study in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 world-class university. Without a strong
ambition
Use synonyms
, even the smartest people on earth have no chance because they are not motivated enough to compete.
Moreover
Linking Words
, having an
ambition
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 is
also
Linking Words
 useful when we are faced with hardship moments. We do not always
achieving
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achieve
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 everything we plan out, sometimes we will fail to do so. Here,
ambition
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 plays a role
to encourage
Change preposition
in encouraging
show examples
 us to not easily
giving
Wrong verb form
give
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 up because our dream is much
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
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 than just a temporary failure. A
japanese
Change the capitalization
Japanese
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 principle,
for example
Linking Words
, teaches us how hard moments
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
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, even
we
Correct word choice
if we
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failed
Wrong verb form
fail
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 7 times, we have to get up 8 times.
That is
Linking Words
 the embodiment of strong
ambition
Use synonyms
 within someone. In conclusion, I do believe that having an
ambition
Use synonyms
 is a must-have mentality to succeed in
life
Use synonyms
 pursuit because it
plays igniting
Wrong verb form
ignites
show examples
 our fuel in achieving dreams
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and
helping
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
 us to not easily give up when we are faced
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 difficult experiences
while
Linking Words
 in the middle of
process
Correct article usage
a process
show examples
.
Submitted by pedrothedawn on

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task achievement
The essay needs a clearer introduction that directly addresses the question of ambition being positive or negative, followed by a thesis statement outlining your position.
task achievement
The body paragraphs should have clear topic sentences that directly relate to the main argument presented in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in tense and perspective throughout the essay to maintain cohesion.
task achievement
Support main points with more detailed and specific examples directly related to the question posed.
coherence cohesion
Conclude with a summary of the main points discussed and reiterate your position clearly, relating back to the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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