Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local custom and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree ?
Number
of migrations are higher than before. Many migrants adopted Change the article
A number
The number
to
the Change preposition
apply
foreing
country Correct your spelling
foreign
lifestyle
once they reached the country rather than saving their mother
Correct your spelling
motherland
land
lifestyle
. There are many debets regading
Correct your spelling
regarding
this
phenomenon. In this
essay, I would argue that adoptation
is better than trying to Correct your spelling
adaptation
adoption
saving
Change the verb
save
Correct article usage
a mother
mother
Correct your spelling
motherland
land
behaviour.
To begin
, people migrate to countries with plans. If they hang on Change preposition
to thier
thier
culture they will not Correct your spelling
their
able
to Add a missing verb
be able
acheive
their targets. Every year migration number is higher than Correct your spelling
achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
last
year eventhough
it is not an easy task to live in a Correct your spelling
even though
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
land
. When they adopted to foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
lifestlye
quickly it will be easy for them to live there and it will be easy for them to overcome Correct your spelling
lifestyle
cultureshock
. Correct your spelling
culture shock
For example
, many Sri Lankans cook curries with coconuts
milk but when they moved to London they could not find coconuts, so, they have to use Change the noun form
coconut
cocnut
milk powder for cooking. If someone searching Correct your spelling
coconut
cocnuts
for cooking is Correct your spelling
coconuts
Correct article usage
a funny
funny
thing is Correct article usage
a funny
Correct your spelling
their
there
Correct your spelling
their
lifestyle
.
Change the punctuation
?
Moreover
, adoptation
will help to achieve life goals easily and it will make their Correct your spelling
adoption
lifestyle
simple.
On the other hand
, according to
this
migrant Correct your spelling
increase
increasment
some countries will diminish their cultures and Add a comma
increasment,
traditions
soon. When migrant not
follow their cultures and Add a missing verb
do not
traditions
will thread for the
future generations because Correct article usage
apply
youngers
will not Correct your spelling
youngsters
aware
of their Add a missing verb
be aware
traditions
. From their childhood
those childrenAdd a comma
childhood,
growup
with foreign Correct your spelling
grow up
traditions
. For example
, significant
of kids who are living away from Correct article usage
a significant
mother
Correct your spelling
their
land
can not speak Sinhala they can speak English.
In conclusion, people have responsibility
to save their cultures but someone Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
move
Change the verb form
moves
to
abroad to Change preposition
apply
acheive
some personal goals. If they stick to their Correct your spelling
achieve
traditions
in foreign country
they can not reach their targets. So, I disagree with Fix the agreement mistake
countries
this
statement due to
above
reasons.Correct article usage
the above
Submitted by Sa.inaka on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introduction that outlines the topic and your thesis statement. Make sure your introduction sets the stage for your argument and provides a clear position on the issue.
logical structure
The organizational structure of your essay is weak. Paragraphs should logically flow from one to the next with clear topic sentences and cohesive devices. Use connecting words to improve the transitions between ideas.
supported main points
Each main point in your essay should be supported with relevant examples or evidence. Your examples are somewhat unclear and not fully developed. Provide specific details and illustrations that directly support your argument.
complete response
Your response to the task should fully address all parts of the prompt in a comprehensive manner. It appears that you have attempted to cover the topic, but the clarity and depth of your ideas are insufficient. Expand on your points more thoroughly and ensure they address the prompt directly.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas expressed in your essay are somewhat vague and need further development to be clear and comprehensive. When discussing your argument, ensure you clarify the ideas to articulate a strong, unambiguous position.
relevant specific examples
Providing specific, relevant examples is necessary to strengthen your argument and demonstrate an understanding of the topic. Your examples lack specificity and do not clearly relate back to the main topic. Seek to include more detailed and relevant instances that enhance your essay's argument.