Some people believe that only the Government can bring about significant changes in society while others believe that even an individual can have a lot of influence on society. What is your opinion on the above statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The line graph below shows electricity production in France between 1980 and 2012. In 1980 teats we compare electricity production in France there 4 kinds product Thermal, Nuclear, Hydroelectric Renewables, here

compered

Correct your spelling

compared

show examples

from 1980- 2010 and

need

Add the particle

need to

show examples

find contrast. Thermal started your my product 120

Use synonyms

terrawat

Correct your spelling

terawatt

and

theb

Correct your spelling

the

then

overtime it lowered step by step.

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

time nucklearn started your product

Use synonyms

terrawat

Change the capitalization

Terrawat

show examples

75 by 1980

however

Linking Words

nucklear grew higher than others in 2005 nuclear was power ever. In 2005 nuclear was 485 it

did

Verb problem

was

show examples

the most powerful.

In contrast

Linking Words

renewables and Thermal. Renewables

Capitalize word

show examples

1980 electricity production saw only a small it started

Change preposition

at 0

show examples

terrawat

Use synonyms

hours and

than

Replace the word

then

show examples

in 2012 years it

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

grew

Change preposition

by 25

show examples

terrawat

Use synonyms

hours, nuclear and thermal in

this

Linking Words

time Thermal started

approximately

Change preposition

at approximately

show examples

75terrawat hours by 1980 but unfortunately in 2012 it lowered

Change preposition

by 60

show examples

terrawat

Use synonyms

hydroelectric was goes at one pace.

bekzodeshonjonovvSat Nov 25 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present

The essay lacks a proper introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of a cohesive piece of writing. Make sure to include these in your essay to provide context and summarise your key points effectively.

logical structure

The essay does not maintain a logical structure throughout, making it difficult to follow. Ensure that your essay has a clear beginning, development, and conclusion to improve readability.

supported main points

The main points of the essay are not well-supported with detailed information or examples. Include specific data and examples to strengthen the argument and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.

complete response

The essay's response to the task is minimal, providing a limited picture of the electricity production in France. To fully meet the task's demand, expand your analysis and provide more in-depth information and interpretation of the data.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas presented in the essay are vaguely explained and need to be developed more clearly and comprehensively. Take time to elaborate on each type of electricity production and its trends over the years.

relevant specific examples

The essay lacks specific examples to support the discussion on the electricity production trends. Use figures and statistics from the graph to make your analysis more compelling and informative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

144 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Many people think that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is no denying the fact that health is the most crucial factor for every society. While it is a commonly held belief that enhancing public health is achieved by increasing the number of sports activities, there is also an argument that public health can be improved through alternative methods. This essay will analyse this topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
8.5
band
A friend of yours is thinking about applying for the same course that you did at university. He/she has asked for your advice about studying this subject . Write a letter to your friend.in your letter Give details of the course you took at school Explain why you recommend the university Give some advice on how to apply
I hope this letter finds you in radiant health and you are doing well. I am writing this letter to share my experiences about the course that you are interested in enrolling in at the School of Business at Independent University Bangladesh.
7
band
Some people believe that more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
People have different views about whether more activities should be done to hinder offence or less can be enough. While some consider there is no need to spend further energy on it, I am of the opinion that more actions are necessary.
7
band
Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this day and age, the world has to face pollution issues and the large impact of plastic that affects with environment, people and even animals. This essay will discuss how plastic has an effect on the world and also is a big deal for governments and every nation has to solve it.
6.5
band
A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 years old watch television and/or play video games too much. How does the problem affect? What measures can be taken to control it?
Most youngsters aged 7 to 11 years old spend lots of time enjoying video games and watching television. This essay will identify the components contributing to this and discuss some solutions.

Some people believe that only the Government can bring about significant changes in society while others believe that even an individual can have a lot of influence on society. What is your opinion on the above statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people think that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 years old watch television and/or play video games too much. How does the problem affect? What measures can be taken to control it?