IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Some people believe that only the Government can bring about significant changes in society while others believe that even an individual can have a lot of influence on society. What is your opinion on the above statement?

#people #government #changes #society #influence
The line graph below shows electricity production in France between 1980 and 2012. In 1980 teats we compare electricity production in France there 4 kinds product  Thermal, Nuclear, Hydroelectric Renewables, here
compered
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compared
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 from 1980- 2010 and
need
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need to
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 find contrast. Thermal started your my product 120
terrawat
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terawatt
 and
theb
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the
then
 overtime it lowered step by step.
In
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At
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this
 time nucklearn started your product
terrawat
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Terrawat
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 75 by 1980
however
 nucklear grew higher than others in 2005 nuclear was power ever. In 2005 nuclear was 485 it
did
Verb problem
was
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 the most powerful.
In contrast
  renewables and Thermal. Renewables
in
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In
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 1980 electricity production saw only a small it started 
0
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at 0
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terrawat
 hours and
than
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then
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 in 2012 years it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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  grew
25
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by 25
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terrawat
 hours, nuclear and thermal in
this
 time Thermal started
approximately
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at approximately
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 75terrawat hours by 1980 but unfortunately in 2012 it lowered
60
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by 60
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terrawat
 hydroelectric was goes at one pace.
Submitted by bekzodeshonjonovv on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a proper introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of a cohesive piece of writing. Make sure to include these in your essay to provide context and summarise your key points effectively.
logical structure
The essay does not maintain a logical structure throughout, making it difficult to follow. Ensure that your essay has a clear beginning, development, and conclusion to improve readability.
supported main points
The main points of the essay are not well-supported with detailed information or examples. Include specific data and examples to strengthen the argument and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
complete response
The essay's response to the task is minimal, providing a limited picture of the electricity production in France. To fully meet the task's demand, expand your analysis and provide more in-depth information and interpretation of the data.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented in the essay are vaguely explained and need to be developed more clearly and comprehensively. Take time to elaborate on each type of electricity production and its trends over the years.
relevant specific examples
The essay lacks specific examples to support the discussion on the electricity production trends. Use figures and statistics from the graph to make your analysis more compelling and informative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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