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Band 1

Some people believe that one-on-one lessons are better for learning while others think that group lessons are superior. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #lessons #group
The
libe
Correct your spelling
line
 graph below shows
electricity
Correct article usage
the electricity
show examples
 industry in France between 1980 and 2012. Between 1980 and 2010 nuclear have
highest
Change the article
the highest
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period
. During 30 years, Nuclear grow
countiniuosly
Correct your spelling
continuously
. Between 1980 and 2012, hydroelectric
do
Wrong verb form
did
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 not grow  at that time, but
at
Change preposition
in
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 the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
 it
start
Wrong verb form
started
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grow
Fix the infinitive
to grow
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 In 1980, Thermal and Renewables started
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 in 1990 their condition was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
.
Untill
Correct your spelling
Until
 2005 year, they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 some changes. But
2005
Change preposition
in 2005
show examples
 they
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 condition again. Nuclear until to get
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
period
 overtook 15 years. After that it
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
dicriese
Correct your spelling
decrease
. After 2010 it
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 back past condition. In 1980, Renewables and Nuclear get started the same
period
. But Nuclear achieved
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
period
. And renewables do not
moved
Change the verb form
move
show examples
. Hydroelectric do
jot
Correct your spelling
not
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moved
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 until  2000. After that it
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
.
Submitted by bekzodeshonjonovv on

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task achievement
The essay does not adhere to the topic provided, which is about individual versus group lessons, and instead talks about the electricity industry in France. It is essential that you stay on topic and address the task provided. Make sure to discuss both views of the argument and then provide your personal opinion on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential components for structuring your essay effectively. Additionally, the paragraphs are not well organized, and the information is somewhat confusing. Each paragraph should center around a single main idea, which should be supported by relevant examples or explanations. Consider using linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your writing and to make the relationships between ideas clearer.
task achievement
The main points provided in the essay are not supported with clear explanations or examples, and they are not relevant to the task at hand. In your response, it is important to provide clear examples or reasoning to support each point you are making. It is also critical for these points and examples to be relevant to the topic of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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