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Band 4.5

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in -What are the reasons for this? -How can people research this?

#countries #people #history #house #-what #-how #research
Nowadays, we can find
growing
Add an article
a growing
show examples
 number of people who are inclined to find out
histories
Correct article usage
the histories
show examples
 of their accommodations in some countries. It would be interesting and productive to figure out the reasons for
this
 surging interest, and the way to
research
this
. In terms of reasons for
this
, I believe there are economic and educational reasons. First and foremost, the financial motivation is the biggest and outstanding. In some countries, there are many antique cities containing ancient
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 built in
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
middle
Capitalize word
Middle
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
Ages
show examples
. If the old building has
special
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a special
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history
 and the owner could reveal it, he could earn a myriad of money.
For example
, if the accommodation I live
was
Change preposition
in was
show examples
 once
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 office of Adam Smith, the father of modern economic theory, the value of
building
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the building
show examples
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 certainly upsurge.
Secondly
, investigating the
history
 of their own house would be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
research
 topic for children. By studying the
history
 and collecting anecdotes of
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
, children can easily learn the
history
 of their family,
hometown
Correct word choice
and hometown
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. It could be
challenging
Correct article usage
a challenging
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 but
also
riveting
Correct article usage
a riveting
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 project. In
this
 way,
history
 education would be much friendly to many children. For researching the
history
 of buildings, I can suggest three methods. First of all, meticulous
research
 of old writings, including
history
 books, novels,
biographies
Correct word choice
and biographies
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
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 important. We can find some hints from
those literature
Change the determiner
that literature
show examples
. And in terms of reliability, historical writing is
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 credible source.
In addition
,
anecdotal
Correct article usage
an anecdotal
show examples
 approach will be
also
 useful.
History
 telling
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 elderly people who lived
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
show examples
building
Correct article usage
the building
show examples
 would be one of the most important sources. It would give
detail
Replace the word
detailed
show examples
 information about
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
,
also
 it could invigorate our imagination.
Lastly
, art and architecture approaches are
also
 significant.
This
 approach can help find the origin of the building. In conclusion, learning about
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
 of our own houses is beneficial in both economic and educational
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
. To render good
research
, we need to study fastidiously relevant
literatures
Change the wording
literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
show examples
, anecdotes, and
architecture
Replace the word
architectural
show examples
 factors.
Submitted by sewon0924 on

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task achievement
While you addressed the key points of the essay prompt, the task response could be improved with more consistent relevance to the question throughout the essay. Consider directly tailoring each paragraph to the specific question asked, ensuring that every example and idea provided contributes to answering the query more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents ideas but lacks clear topic sentences and proper paragraphing which affects overall coherence. To enhance cohesion, use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph that guide the reader through your argument.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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