Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, guardians encourage their children to do active

sports

rather than learning academic subjects. Others said that their children should study rather than do physical activities. In

this

essay, I believe

kids

should study more than go outside to do

sports

. First and foremost, spending more time doing

sports

can reduce screen time. Submitting homework online, doing research tasks, and sending emails.

Secondly

sports

such

as basketball, football and baseball can make you more potent.

For example

, losing weight can help increase muscle strength as you burn calories, benefiting one's health

overall

. When you feel tired after studying, your parents might ask you to go outside and do

sports

to make yourself feel better.

On the other hand

, rather than doing physical activity,

kids

should do more studying. Doing a lot of studies can help you improve during a test.

For instance

, reading books, doing mini-tests and revising can lead to a better score during the test. In conclusion, I believe that

kids

should study more because they might have a lot of homework. It is safe to say that

kids

should spend more time studying than doing physical activities.

Submitted by jennybui181001 on Sat Nov 25 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that are all linked to each other to ensure the reader can easily follow the argument. Work on creating a more logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

The essay needs to fully address the topic by including a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument before concluding with your own opinion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and include supporting details.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

190 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical activity
Development
Concentration
Obesity
Burnout
Sedentary lifestyle
Healthy lifestyle
Intellectual development
Structured activities
Teamwork
Leadership
Sedentary behavior
Tech addiction
Role models
Family bonds

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Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many people believe that good planning is the key factor to success in life, while others believe that other factors like hard work or luck are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

Nowadays, distance-learning programs have gained popularity, but some people argue that online courses can never be as good as those taken at a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

in a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend sums of money on the construction of new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. other believe that money should be spent on improving existing public transport