Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, guardians encourage their children to do active

sports

rather than learning academic subjects. Others said that their children should study rather than do physical activities. In

this

essay, I believe

kids

should study more than go outside to do

sports

. First and foremost, spending more time doing

sports

can reduce screen time. Submitting homework online, doing research tasks, and sending emails.

Secondly

sports

such

as basketball, football and baseball can make you more potent.

For example

, losing weight can help increase muscle strength as you burn calories, benefiting one's health

overall

. When you feel tired after studying, your parents might ask you to go outside and do

sports

to make yourself feel better.

On the other hand

, rather than doing physical activity,

kids

should do more studying. Doing a lot of studies can help you improve during a test.

For instance

, reading books, doing mini-tests and revising can lead to a better score during the test. In conclusion, I believe that

kids

should study more because they might have a lot of homework. It is safe to say that

kids

should spend more time studying than doing physical activities.

Submitted by jennybui181001 on Sat Nov 25 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that are all linked to each other to ensure the reader can easily follow the argument. Work on creating a more logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

The essay needs to fully address the topic by including a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument before concluding with your own opinion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and include supporting details.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

190 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical activity
Development
Concentration
Obesity
Burnout
Sedentary lifestyle
Healthy lifestyle
Intellectual development
Structured activities
Teamwork
Leadership
Sedentary behavior
Tech addiction
Role models
Family bonds

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Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many workplaces, online communication is becoming more commonplace than face-to-face meetings. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more excercise and spend more time with their family and friends whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems.What are the causes o this and what are some solutions

Some people think robots are very important to humans' future development while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by a very small number of people. Some people say that governments should public money on saving these language, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.