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Band 3.5

Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#parents #children #time #activities
Nowadays, guardians encourage their children to do active
sports
 rather than learning academic subjects. Others said that their children should study rather than do physical activities. In
this
 essay, I believe
kids
 should study more than go outside to do
sports
. First and foremost, spending more time doing
sports
 can reduce screen time. Submitting homework online, doing research tasks, and sending emails.
Secondly
,
sports
such
 as basketball, football and baseball can make you more potent.
For example
, losing weight can help increase muscle strength as you burn calories, benefiting one's health
overall
. When you feel tired after studying, your parents might ask you to go outside and do
sports
 to make yourself feel better.
On the other hand
, rather than doing physical activity,
kids
 should do more studying. Doing a lot of studies can help you improve during a test.
For instance
, reading books, doing mini-tests and revising can lead to a better score during the test. In conclusion, I believe that
kids
 should study more because they might have a lot of homework. It is safe to say that
kids
 should spend more time studying than doing physical activities.
Submitted by jennybui181001 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that are all linked to each other to ensure the reader can easily follow the argument. Work on creating a more logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
The essay needs to fully address the topic by including a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument before concluding with your own opinion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and include supporting details.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Development
  • Concentration
  • Obesity
  • Burnout
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Intellectual development
  • Structured activities
  • Teamwork
  • Leadership
  • Sedentary behavior
  • Tech addiction
  • Role models
  • Family bonds
What to do next:
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