Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, guardians encourage their children to do active

sports

Use synonyms

rather than learning academic subjects. Others said that their children should study rather than do physical activities. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I believe

kids

Use synonyms

should study more than go outside to do

sports

Use synonyms

. First and foremost, spending more time doing

sports

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can reduce screen time. Submitting homework online, doing research tasks, and sending emails.

Secondly

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as basketball, football and baseball can make you more potent.

For example

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, losing weight can help increase muscle strength as you burn calories, benefiting one's health

overall

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. When you feel tired after studying, your parents might ask you to go outside and do

sports

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to make yourself feel better.

On the other hand

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, rather than doing physical activity,

kids

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should do more studying. Doing a lot of studies can help you improve during a test.

For instance

Linking Words

, reading books, doing mini-tests and revising can lead to a better score during the test. In conclusion, I believe that

kids

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should study more because they might have a lot of homework. It is safe to say that

kids

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should spend more time studying than doing physical activities.

Submitted by jennybui181001 on Sat Nov 25 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that are all linked to each other to ensure the reader can easily follow the argument. Work on creating a more logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

The essay needs to fully address the topic by including a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument before concluding with your own opinion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and include supporting details.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

190 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical activity
Development
Concentration
Obesity
Burnout
Sedentary lifestyle
Healthy lifestyle
Intellectual development
Structured activities
Teamwork
Leadership
Sedentary behavior
Tech addiction
Role models
Family bonds

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Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more" advantages or more disadvantages?

In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?

Some people say that what children watch on television influences their behavior, while others say the amount of time spend watching television influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?