IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Rapid population growth in cities has brought many problems. What are these problems? How can city residents quality of life be maintained?

#population #growth #cities #city #residents #quality #life
Urbanization
possess
Verb problem
has
show examples
 an influence
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. A few issues have
raised
Add a missing verb
been raised
show examples
due to
 the overcrowding in the urban areas. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I am going to pen down the issues and possible solutions for the trouble. One of the major issue found in developed regions
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 migration.
People
 have been moving to cities for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
. Vast
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 for jobs,
sophisticated
Correct article usage
a sophisticated
show examples
 health care system and
modern
Correct article usage
a modern
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 have attracted many
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
 towards cities. New
delhi
Change the capitalization
Delhi
show examples
,
capital
Correct article usage
the capital
show examples
 of
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
,
this
 city has been
over crowded
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
show examples
 for decades as the area is
well- paid
Correct your spelling
well-paid
show examples
 for
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
 employees, for its advanced medical services and contemporary
life
 pattern,
according to
 the study. Over flow of
people
 could be maintained by providing varient job opportunities in rural areas
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
like relocating or opening new
bussiness
Correct your spelling
businesses
 in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 could attract
low level
Add a hyphen
low-level
show examples
 to
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
 employees. Installation of
moderate level
Add a hyphen
moderate-level
show examples
 health care systems in rural areas could
also
 satisfy the
people
.
Provding
Correct your spelling
Providing
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
 of basic needs would stop
people
 from
migrate
Change the verb form
migrating
show examples
.
Therefore
, population density could
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 under control.
To conclude
, migration
due to
 the facilities had
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 major trouble in cities by adding basic facilities and meeting job satisfaction might reduce the
arised
Correct your spelling
arisen
show examples
 problem in the township.
Submitted by greeshmasebastian1997 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay exhibits a generally logical structure but must have clearer topic sentences to introduce each paragraph effectively. Ensure each paragraph has a central idea that is expanded upon with more detail and fully developed.
coherence cohesion
Introductions and conclusions are present but require a greater degree of specificity and clarity. The introduction must clearly address the question, and the conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new information.
task achievement
Provide real-life examples and data to support your main points. Doing so strengthens the argument and keeps the essay relevant to the task prompt. Ensure these examples are detailed and specific.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. While the essay attempts to discuss problems and solutions, these are not fully developed. Spend more time expanding on each problem and its corresponding solution in separate paragraphs.
task achievement
Ideas must be clear and comprehensive. Avoid vague statements by providing concrete details. Each paragraph should have a central theme that is explored in depth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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