1. Freshwater is a limited resource in certain regions of the world. Today, the escalating demand has transformed it into a global problem. What are the causes of increasing demand? What measures can governments and individuals take to respond to the problem?

Water
resources protection has
became
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become
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one of the most pressing
envrionmental issures
Correct your spelling
environmental issues
in
increasingly
Add an article
an increasingly
the increasingly
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globalised world, especially freshwater.
This
essay will consider the causes of and suggest possible solutions to it. Perhaps the biggest reason is the number of factories and industries increased dramatically which will directly cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environment
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environmental
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pollution,
such
as rubbish,
wastewater
Correct word choice
and wastewater
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discharged into the ocean. It is conceivable that the consequences will be
seriously
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serious
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.
For example
,
a
Correct word choice
if a
show examples
large number of marine life
died
Wrong verb form
die
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, people's health will
be
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apply
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worse
quicker
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quickly
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. What is more, with more vehicles
come
Wrong verb form
coming
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out, the more carbon
emissons
Correct your spelling
emissions
will produced, which means that it will significantly affect air quality and
thus
water
quality. There will be less and less drinking
water
for people. Turning to possible solutions, probably the most effective measure is
the
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for the
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government
need
Verb problem
apply
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to impose some policies to ban or hider these ways, increasing
evironment
Correct your spelling
environment
environmental
protection activities regularly which all the companies will engaged in, holding some related
lecture
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lectures
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to let people know as much as possible about the disadvantages of harming the
environment
. It is
also
necessary to
rugulate
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regulate
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individuals'
behavior
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behaviour
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,
do
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apply
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not throw rubbish
everywere
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everywhere
, raising
the
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apply
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awareness of
protect
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protecting
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
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, as they know the most
fundemental
Correct your spelling
fundamental
harmful to their physical health from the poor
water
environment
, they will pay more attention to it.
To sum up
, the impact that caused
water
pollution by factories, industries and
the
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apply
show examples
vehicles is profound,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
requires the government's and our immediate attention and actions.There are ample solutions to
this
environmental concern.
Submitted by xueyinggao2023 on

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Task Achievement
Your introduction briefly outlines the topic, but it fails to adequately paraphrase the question and does not clearly state the causes of increasing demand for freshwater or the measures that can be taken. It is important to clearly address these points to fulfill the task response criteria fully.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay is noticeable, but the logical flow is somewhat erratic. Paragraphs should clearly relate to one another, each beginning with a topic sentence that previews the content of the paragraph. Ensure you use a range of cohesive devices to better link ideas and maintain coherence throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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