Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, it is widely considered that students who enrol on university should have a compulsory curriculum that includes positive science and technology.
However
, the other side argues that young aldults
should be able to learn what they desire and favour. Correct your spelling
adults
This
essay will elaborate both
sides and give Change preposition
on both
out
a conclusion.
It is Change preposition
apply
evitable
that a compulsory schedule would be more effective in supporting pupils’ career paths.. Take, Correct word choice
evident
for example
, a chemist, might
not need to learn about Geography or Advanced LiteratureCorrect pronoun usage
who might
,
since their main focuses are in science Remove the comma
apply
subjects
. Since they are focused on the vital parts of their future occupations, there would be less distraction as well as
time spending
on Change the form of the verb
spent
unecessary
research. In Correct your spelling
unnecessary
this
way, they have more time to explore their fields, which means they would be highly likely to understand deeper and more thoroughly compared to others who study unecessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
necessary
subjects
. This
would help individuals shape their future goals clearer
and secure their employment with specialised skills.
Replace the word
clearly
However
, pupils should not be restricted from doing what they like, especially in term
of studying. The more they learn, the more they gain, and Fix the agreement mistake
terms
combining
with their passion and enthusiasm Wrong verb form
combined
to
their favoured Change preposition
for
subjects
, the result may be far better. This
would help learners to be well-rounded individuals and enhance their thinking skills,
since they have to adapt different categories and approaches in distinctive Remove the comma
apply
subjects
. Moreover
, the
enthusiasm and interest in certain favoured Correct article usage
apply
subjects
would be the strongest encouragement for students to learn and absorb knowledge, which can not be provided in a compulsory schedule. In other word
, happiness and satisfaction would motivate learners to keep on studying and obtaining knowledge more than a ‘duty’ in studying a prepared studying programme.
In summary, I believe it is fair to say that many fields are important to know for young students. Change the wording
another word
other words
However
, learners should be allowed to decide their own study schedules and topics, since it would be more beneficial for them in both their studying and their mentalitySubmitted by nguyencamnhi on
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Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt but does not fully develop all parts of the task. Develop both sides of the argument extensively before providing a reasoned conclusion with specific examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure there is a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulates the arguments presented throughout the essay. The current introduction and conclusion could be strengthened.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve logical structure by organizing arguments more effectively. Use clear topic sentences and subsequent supporting sentences to make each paragraph's main point unmistakable.
Task Achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. This will help to convincingly convey your arguments and maintain the examiner's interest.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar errors as they can detract from the clarity of your arguments. For example, 'aldults' should be 'adults', 'evitable' should be 'inevitable', and 'unecessary' should be 'unnecessary'.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?