Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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The fact that many available food
products
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are high in
sugar
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and it would result in an unhealthy society, is inevitable.
According to
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some, sugary
products
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should cost much to encourage
people
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to set a less sugary diet. In my perspective,
definitely
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apply
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this
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would not be an efficient way to prevent consuming
much
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too much
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sugar
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and I will investigate
this
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issue in
this
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essay.
To begin
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with, I believe that the more well-informed the
people
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are, the more healthy the society will be.
Therefore
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, infrastructures should be provided
for increasing
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to increase
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the awareness of individuals about the harmfulness of
foods
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that are high in
sugar
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rather than
rising
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raising
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the price of that kind of
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products
Fix the agreement mistake
product
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.
For instance
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, pushing
manufactures
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manufacturers
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for putting
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to put
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some labels on
foods
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which contain beneficial information about the ingredients ,
specially
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especially
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the amount of
sugar
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on
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in
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it
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them
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, is expected to aware
people
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and assist them in making
decision
Add an article
a decision
the decision
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for buying
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to buy
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more nutritious
foods
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and be in good health
while
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an extortionate price will not work effectively.
On the other hand
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, as rich citizens have access to all pricey goods, increasing the price would not affect the affordability of
them
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apply
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for
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apply
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providing expensive
foods
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which are high in
sugar
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, and
as a result
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,
this
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is not expected to lead
a
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to a
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healthy society. In
the
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apply
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other words,
this
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not only is a fruitless exercise
,
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apply
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but
also
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may cause a gap between poor and rich since only a certain part is able to purchase sugary
foods
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.
To conclude
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, I completely disagree with making sugary
products
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expensive in order to reduce
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their
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the
Change the word
their
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use
of
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apply
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them
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apply
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because,
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in
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at
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in
show examples
the first place,
people
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should be aware enough to choose a balanced diet with vital nutrients
instead
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of inability
in providing
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to provide
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it
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them
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, as
this
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way does not include
people
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from all walks of life would not be effective.
Submitted by s.hemmati.p on

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task achievement
The introduction should more clearly state your opinion and briefly outline the reasons you will discuss.
task achievement
Make sure to directly and fully address the question asked and present a clear argument without contradicting yourself.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to aid the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear central idea with supporting explanations or examples.
task achievement
Support your ideas with specific examples, not just general statements or hypothetical scenarios.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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