Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
The fact that many available food
products
are high in sugar
and it would result in an unhealthy society, is inevitable. According to
some, sugary products
should cost much to encourage people
to set a less sugary diet. In my perspective, definitely
Rephrase
apply
this
would not be an efficient way to prevent consuming much
Rephrase
too much
sugar
and I will investigate this
issue in this
essay.
To begin
with, I believe that the more well-informed the people
are, the more healthy the society will be. Therefore
, infrastructures should be provided for increasing
the awareness of individuals about the harmfulness of Change preposition
to increase
foods
that are high in sugar
rather than rising
the price of that kind of Correct your spelling
raising
products
. Fix the agreement mistake
product
For instance
, pushing manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
for putting
some labels on Change preposition
to put
foods
which contain beneficial information about the ingredients ,specially
the amount of Replace the word
especially
sugar
on
Change preposition
in
it
, is expected to aware Correct pronoun usage
them
people
and assist them in making decision
Add an article
a decision
the decision
for buying
more nutritious Change preposition
to buy
foods
and be in good health while
an extortionate price will not work effectively.
On the other hand
, as rich citizens have access to all pricey goods, increasing the price would not affect the affordability of them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
for
providing expensive Change preposition
apply
foods
which are high in sugar
, and as a result
, this
is not expected to lead a
healthy society. In Change preposition
to a
the
other words, Correct article usage
apply
this
not only is a fruitless exercise,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
may cause a gap between poor and rich since only a certain part is able to purchase sugary foods
.
To conclude
, I completely disagree with making sugary products
expensive in order to reduce Correct pronoun usage
their
the
use Change the word
their
of
Change preposition
apply
them
because, Correct pronoun usage
apply
Change preposition
in
at
the first place, Change preposition
in
people
should be aware enough to choose a balanced diet with vital nutrients instead
of inability in providing
Change preposition
to provide
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
Furthermore
, as this
way does not include people
from all walks of life would not be effective.Submitted by s.hemmati.p on
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task achievement
The introduction should more clearly state your opinion and briefly outline the reasons you will discuss.
task achievement
Make sure to directly and fully address the question asked and present a clear argument without contradicting yourself.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to aid the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear central idea with supporting explanations or examples.
task achievement
Support your ideas with specific examples, not just general statements or hypothetical scenarios.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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