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Band 4.5

Tourism is ever growing industry. What benefits do you think tourism brings to individual and society?

#tourism #industry #society
Tourism
 stands as a dynamic force, shaping the economic, cultural, and social landscapes of destinations and leaving lasting imprints on individuals and society. Economically,
tourism
 is a potent generator of jobs and revenue. From hotels and transportation to entertainment and dining, the industry creates employment opportunities and injects vital funds into local economies.
This
 economic diversification proves crucial for regions seeking stability amid economic fluctuations. Culturally,
tourism
 serves as a conduit for global understanding. Travelers traverse borders, immersing themselves in diverse cultures, traditions, and customs.
This
 cultural exchange fosters mutual respect, breaking down barriers and contributing to the preservation of historical sites and cultural heritage.
However
, the industry is not without its challenges, and responsible
tourism
 practices are crucial to mitigate negative impacts. On a personal level,
tourism
 offers avenues for growth and well-being. Individuals benefit from exposure to new environments, fostering personal development and broadening perspectives.
Moreover
,
tourism
 contributes to relaxation and recreation, promoting mental and physical well-being.
While
 the advantages of
tourism
 are vast, it necessitates a balanced approach. Sustainable practices, environmental consciousness, and cultural preservation are paramount for long-term positive impacts. In the delicate dance between economic prosperity and responsible stewardship,
tourism
 has the potential to weave a tapestry of interconnectedness, enhancing global relations, fostering community development, and enriching the lives of individuals.
Submitted by berryone.yusif on

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coherence cohesion
The essay establishes a clear logical structure but could benefit from stronger transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present and effectively bookend the essay, providing a satisfactory insight into the main ideas; however, consider a more impactful final statement.
coherence cohesion
The main points are generally well-supported but would be strengthened by incorporating specific and varied examples from real-life situations or statistics.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided a complete response; nonetheless, refine and explicitly state your argument in relation to the benefits of tourism to ensure a crystal-clear perspective.
task achievement
Ideas are clear and sufficiently comprehensive, yet aim to deepen the analysis to fully explore the complexity of tourism's impact on society and individuals.
task achievement
To boost the relevance of your examples, integrate concrete examples that directly illustrate how tourism benefits individuals and society, solidifying your argument with tangible evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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