IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future more and more people will go on vacation in their own country and choose not to travel abroad on vacation. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience, along with reasons for your disagreement. Please jam at least 250.

#future #people #vacation #country #travel #disagreement #jam
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I disagree with the idea that in the future more
people
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 will choose to go on vacation in their own country and avoid traveling abroad on vacation.
First,
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the effects of globalization will continue and the world will become increasingly interconnected.
As a result
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,
people
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 will become more interested in the cultures and landscapes of other countries, which will
increase
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 the demand for international
travel
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.
For example
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,
travel
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 to regions
such
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 as Asia and South America is becoming easier with the
increase
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 in air
travel
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 routes.
Second,
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economic growth will expand access to international
travel
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, especially in emerging economies. Rising incomes will give more
people
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 the opportunity to
travel
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 abroad. In China and India,
for example
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, the growing middle class has led to a rapid
increase
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 in the number of tourists
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to foreign destinations.
Third,
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technological advances will make international
travel
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 more accessible. The proliferation of online
travel
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 booking sites and apps is making
travel
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 more affordable and easier to plan.
This
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 makes it easier for individuals to plan international
travel
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.
Furthermore
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, increased environmental awareness may change the nature of international
travel
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, but it does not necessarily mean a decline. Ecotourism and cultural exchange opportunities could provide new incentives for international
travel
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. In conclusion, globalization, economic growth, and technological advances have the potential to
increase
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 demand for international
travel
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. These factors provide opportunities for
people
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 to experience foreign countries in different ways.
Submitted by chisae112 on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that all parts of the task are fully addressed. The introduction and conclusion should clearly state your position and summarize your main arguments, while the body paragraphs should explore these arguments in detail. Provide specific examples and elaborate on them to fully support your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Make an effort to use a range of cohesive devices to help link your ideas more effectively throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, with a clearly defined main idea that is expanded upon with supporting information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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