People who do not agree with the idea of doing so further in the future they choose to vacation in their own country and avoid traveling abroad during vacations.

#people #idea #future #vacation #country #vacations

Change the preposition

show examples

the beginning, the effects of globalization will continue and the world will become more and more interconnected.

As a result

, people will become more interested in other countries' cultures and landscapes. Increased international demand for

travel

For example

travel

to regions

such

as Asia and South America will

increase

while

air

travel

routes. Second,

travel

with greater international access

due to

economic growth, especially in emerging economies. As incomes

increase

, more and more people will have the opportunity to

travel

abroad. In China and India,

for example

, the growth of the middle class has led to a rapid

increase

in the number of tourists

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

to foreign destinations.

Third,

technological advances will make internationalization more accessible to

travel

. Online popular

travel

booking sites and apps are making

travel

more affordable and easier to plan.

This

travel

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will make it easier for individuals to plan

international

Change the word

internationally

show examples

Additionally

, the nature of the international community may change

due to

increased environmental awareness.

travel

, but does not necessarily mean a decline. Ecotourism and cultural exchange opportunities could bring new incentives for international exchange

Travel

. In conclusion, globalization, economic growth, and technological advances

increase

international demand for

travel

. These factors allow people to experience foreign countries in different ways.

Submitted by chisae112 on Sat Nov 25 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of effective writing. Ensure that your essay begins with an introduction that outlines the topic and your stance on it. Conclude with a summary that restates the main points and your overall position.

logical structure

There is a noticeable lack of logical connectors and transitions between ideas, which creates a sense of disorganization. To improve coherence, use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs smoothly.

supported main points

Main points need to be developed with more supporting details and examples. Aim to provide clear explanations and illustrative examples for each of the points made.

complete response

It is imperative to directly address all aspects of the task. Your essay should not only describe potential trends but also provide a clear opinion on why individuals might prefer to vacation in their own country rather than traveling abroad. Remember to fully respond to all parts of the prompt.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ideas presented should be expanded into clear, comprehensive arguments. Aim for depth and clarity by elaborating on each point made and explaining the reasoning behind them.

relevant specific examples

The essay should include relevant and specific examples that support the argument. The examples provided are somewhat generic; incorporating more specific and relevant information would strengthen the argument considerably.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

205 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe, that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Several individuals believe that toddlers can learn from their parents how to be an appropriate person in society; however, few of them think educational institutions are the best place to acquire this knowledge. Additionally, forbearers and institutions play a vital role in teenagers' lives to become good individuals in the community. This essay agrees that this duty should be filled primarily by guardians.
5
band
Some people believe that the best way to stay fit is to join aa gym or a health club, while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Keeping fit and doing some exercises to have an active lifestyle and better health condition are well-discussed matters in the modern world. Numerous people have an idea that the best result to be in shape is to join a gym or health club. However, others believe that doing everyday activities can have good effects on the body, and there is no necessity to spend time in the gyms to work out. The idea provokes strong arguments, which both sides will discuss and reach a conclusion.
5
band
Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, modern forms of communication such as email and messaging become common methods of communication. Email, messaging apps, and social communication platforms have become important parts of lives. It is true that modern communication methods have reduced the amount of time people spend for seeing their friends and this has a negative effect on our social lives. However, it brings many benefits to life.
7
band
Some people think that we should divide students based on their academic ability, while others think we should educate all students together. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are two distinct notions in regard to the subject of classifying students in the current society, one is the belief that pupils should be separated based on their education performance and the other side argues that schools ought to equilibrium teach every student. Even though both parties have their own justifications, I firmly believe that the first option is superior.
6.5
band
Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People have different views in regard to the roles and responsibilities of zoos. While many argue that wild animals would be protected, many disagree with belief that zookeepers are cruel and therefore should not exist. From my perspective, I believe that zoos are useful in keeping the animals safe, however mistreating the creatures should not be allowed or encouraged.

People who do not agree with the idea of doing so further in the future they choose to vacation in their own country and avoid traveling abroad during vacations.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe, that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the best way to stay fit is to join aa gym or a health club, while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that we should divide students based on their academic ability, while others think we should educate all students together. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.