People who do not agree with the idea of doing so further in the future they choose to vacation in their own country and avoid traveling abroad during vacations.
At
the beginning, the effects of globalization will continue and the world will become more and more interconnected. Change the preposition
In
As a result
, people will become more interested in other countries' cultures and landscapes. Increased international demand for travel
. For example
, travel
to regions such
as Asia and South America will increase
while
air travel
routes.
Second,travel
with greater international access due to
economic growth, especially in emerging economies. As incomes increase
, more and more people will have the opportunity to travel
abroad. In China and India, for example
, the growth of the middle class has led to a rapid increase
in the number of tourists traveling
to foreign destinations.
Change the spelling
travelling
Third,
technological advances will make internationalization more accessible to travel
. Online popular travel
booking sites and apps are making travel
more affordable and easier to plan. This
travel
which
will make it easier for individuals to plan Correct pronoun usage
apply
international
.
Change the word
internationally
Additionally
, the nature of the international community may change due to
increased environmental awareness. travel
, but does not necessarily mean a decline. Ecotourism and cultural exchange opportunities could bring new incentives for international exchange Travel
. In conclusion, globalization, economic growth, and technological advances increase
international demand for travel
. These factors allow people to experience foreign countries in different ways.Submitted by chisae112 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of effective writing. Ensure that your essay begins with an introduction that outlines the topic and your stance on it. Conclude with a summary that restates the main points and your overall position.
logical structure
There is a noticeable lack of logical connectors and transitions between ideas, which creates a sense of disorganization. To improve coherence, use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
supported main points
Main points need to be developed with more supporting details and examples. Aim to provide clear explanations and illustrative examples for each of the points made.
complete response
It is imperative to directly address all aspects of the task. Your essay should not only describe potential trends but also provide a clear opinion on why individuals might prefer to vacation in their own country rather than traveling abroad. Remember to fully respond to all parts of the prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas presented should be expanded into clear, comprehensive arguments. Aim for depth and clarity by elaborating on each point made and explaining the reasoning behind them.
relevant specific examples
The essay should include relevant and specific examples that support the argument. The examples provided are somewhat generic; incorporating more specific and relevant information would strengthen the argument considerably.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.