When a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Resent
years have witnessed spectacular development in Correct your spelling
Recent
economy
, so the trend Correct article usage
the economy
make
rich countries richer. Change the verb form
makes
While
there has arisen a debate whether richer countries make people
with less happiness
. Persentally
, I firmly agree with Correct your spelling
Personally
this
view.
There are two primary reasons why I convinced
by Add a missing verb
am convinced
this
idea is that
as Verb problem
:
Correct article usage
the economic
economic
developed dramatically, it Replace the word
economy
is means
a wide range of industries building up Wrong verb form
meant
such
as high-tech and service. With such
excellent industries, more labors
are required, Change the spelling
labours
then
more people
can have a better life with
generous salaries, this
seems to be a more positive side. But it
will affect relationships between family members, parents will face overloaded work and they have to stay up late to finish work, Correct word choice
It
that
means they have no time to take care of their children. Correct pronoun usage
which
Hence
, although
each person has a decent job with good
salary package, they might not Correct article usage
a good
happier
, because they lose a lot in Add a missing verb
be happier
others
terms.
Meanwhile, another important reason is with countries Correct quantifier usage
other
become
richer and better, Wrong verb form
becoming
people
's live leval
can be higher, Correct your spelling
level
Correct word choice
and the
the
saving can beChange the word
their
more
. They can buy Correct quantifier usage
apply
anythings
which they cannot afford before. But they Correct your spelling
anything
also
know the sence
of Correct your spelling
science
sense
happiness
has no link with wealth. If the country cannot increase the number of recreational facilities such
as eco parks
and well-equipped stadiums or other meaning Add a hyphen
eco-parks
infrustructure
to enrich Correct your spelling
infrastructure
people
's spiritual world, the residents might feel loneliness
as same as before, they cannot feel happier with the much money.
In conclusion, I totally agree the additional increase in economic wealth in a country will not bring more Replace the word
lonely
happiness
to its residents. For this
, it is important for the government to strike a balance between citizens' happiness
and economic development.Submitted by xueyinggao2023 on
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coherence cohesion
Include an identifiable introduction and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Support all main points with clear and relevant examples. Develop paragraphs with specific details, not just general statements.
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task achievement
Present clear, comprehensive ideas that demonstrate an understanding of the topic. Vague or underdeveloped ideas can affect the overall score.
task achievement
Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate points clearly and provide a variety of relevant examples where appropriate.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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