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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Advertisement has always been a crucial part
in
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of
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 the world of marketing. Throughout the decade, we have seen a significant increase in the amount of
advertisements
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, whether it is on the media like television or widespread through social network platforms. The goal of
advertisements
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 is to get consumers to buy a targeted
product
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, and
while
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this
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 method has been proven considerably successful generally, some
people
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 view it as too prevalent to catch the consumers’ attention any more.
Advertisements
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 can act as a strong persuasion device to seemingly hypnotize
people
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 into buying goods and services.
This
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 is so because of the tactics placed in the messages,
such
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 as showing
people
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 having a good time together when using a particular
product
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, using bandwagon, showing only the upsides of usage and applying compare and contrast strategies to show the effects of using the
product
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 and make it stand out. Even if
people
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 do not know it, these messages are repeated several times and soon it may brainwash
people
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 to
finally
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 go out and get the
product
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.
For instance
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, if a person is watching television and sees a certain advertisement
of
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for
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 a snack many times, the repeated sight of scrumptious food may result in that person feeling hungry and succumbing to the advertisement at
last
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.
Nevertheless
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, there is another point of view in which the widespread of
advertisements
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 makes it a normal thing. After watching a dozen
of
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apply
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advertisements
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,
people
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 will see it as a mere everyday routine and cease to pay attention to the message of it. Some
people
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 may even choose to turn off a television channel,
for instance
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, only just to avoid seeing and hearing repetitive
ads
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. After a certain frequency, they start to get bored and stop paying attention to
ads
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.
Hence
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, in the end, the main goal is not complete since the
people
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 whom the messages are sent out to, do not receive that message. A
real life
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real-life
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 example can be seen from
advertisements
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 in a particular social media platform, Youtube. In the
youtube
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YouTube
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 marketing mechanism,
advertisements
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are place
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are placed
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 before and in between videos, hoping that the viewers would
also
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 be forced to watch the
ads
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, too.
However
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,
this
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 is not usually the case, since many
people
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 would just skip it and continue. In conclusion,
ads
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 can be successful in persuading
people
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 to purchase goods and services, or they can be unsuccessful in many ways. They are very commonly seen nowadays, but not all of them fulfil their purposes.
Thus
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,
ads
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 must be designed and presented in the correct way to result in the highest effectiveness.

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Task Response
Ensure that introduction and conclusion paragraphs clearly state the topic and encapsulate your overall response to the task. The conclusion in the provided essay somewhat restates the main ideas but lacks a clear, decisive opinion which is expected in this type of essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating a logical structure that guides the reader through your argument or discussion clearly. Paragraphs should follow a logical sequence, and each should have a clear main idea that is elaborated upon with supporting details.
Task Achievement
Support main points with specific examples and fully develop those points with further explanation and detail. The essay provides examples but could benefit from more detailed support and development of each point to strengthen the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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