Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumtances of an individual crime, and the motivation for comitting it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Disscus both these views and give your opinion

Some people think that every kind of
crime
should
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
fixed
punishment
, but
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
agree that must consider
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other factors
such
as
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
and motivation
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
related
Add an article
a related
the related
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been done. In my opinion, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
views can be used
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
on the situation and reason
such
as fixed
punishment
in
order
to give
Correct article usage
a detterent
show examples
detterent
Correct your spelling
deterrent
effect but
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
other hand we need to cross-check several aspects as consideration to give
punishment
. On the one hand, every
crime
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to
has
Change the verb
have
show examples
fixed
Correct article usage
a fixed
show examples
punishment
in
order
to make
perpetrator
Correct article usage
the perpetrator
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
Correct article usage
a detterent
show examples
detterent
Correct your spelling
deterrent
effect. If the regulation the government establish
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
permanent
punishment
, it will raise
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
folk's fear
to do
Change preposition
of doing
show examples
crime
which have been forbidden.
Moreover
, it can educate and
appear
Verb problem
raise
show examples
awareness
of
Change preposition
among
show examples
the public about the related
crime
, why it is forbidden,
what
Correct word choice
and what
show examples
the
advantadges
Correct your spelling
advantages
and impact
if
Add a missing verb
are if
show examples
it is done.
For instance
, the
case
of using illegal drugs
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
persistant
Correct your spelling
persistent
punishment
namely will be imprisoned for several years.
On the other hand
, there is a
case
that
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
special investigation, so we need to cross-check the factors that have been involved. It is caused by more
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
that have been manipulated by
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
and it makes the public confused about the real story
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
related cases.
Moreover
, as
rule
Correct article usage
a rule
show examples
of law, every accident that
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
in the country must follow defined process flow and structure regulation. So, we can decide whether
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
show examples
guilty or not and what the appropriate
punishement
Correct your spelling
punishment
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
Forcreate
Correct your spelling
For
example,
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of
mirna
Correct your spelling
miRNA
Mirna
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
story
Correct article usage
a story
show examples
complexity, so the all of people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have been involved have to be investigated even
further
. In summary, sometimes we need to define the fixed
punishment
for
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
crime
in
order
to make public perpetrator has
Correct article usage
a detterent
show examples
detterent
Correct your spelling
deterrent
effect, but in some cases that have complex
problems
Add a comma
problems,
show examples
we need to consider other factors
such
motivation
Change preposition
as motivation
show examples
and condition in
order
to cross-check the
case
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and subsequent sentences should expand on that idea.
task achievement
Develop your main points more fully with clear explanations and relevant examples. The essay currently lacks depth in the analysis of the viewpoints presented.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and range. There are numerous grammatical errors that hinder the clarity of the arguments.
task achievement
Enhance your lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary appropriately and accurately. Some words are used incorrectly which can confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas better. Use paragraphs effectively, each one should deal with a single aspect of the argument, and use cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Control sentence length and structure to aid readability. Shorter, clearer sentences can often make a stronger impact than long, complex ones that are prone to errors.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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