Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is a common trend for many countries to develop tourism because of its economic
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
. Many people claim that it could negatively affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the local cultures and the ecosystem. I totally agree with the statement for some reasons. To commence with, travel industrialization
attribute
Wrong verb form
is attributed
show examples
to the destruction of one’s
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
and
custom
Fix the agreement mistake
customs
show examples
. Tourists from some other places when come to visit attractions,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will tend to spend lack respect for the custom in that place
toghether
Correct your spelling
together
with go against the standard.
For example
, travellers can be drunk in public or showing bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
to the local residents.
Due to
this
, the
identify
Replace the word
identity
show examples
of the region will be strongly threatened. To stand in the second position,
tourists
Fix the agreement mistake
tourist
show examples
expanding
Replace the word
expansion
show examples
is one of the biggest risks which lead to environmental
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
. It is
Correct article usage
an obvioud
show examples
obvioud
Correct your spelling
obvious
fact that the movement of travellers
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to
based
Add a missing verb
be based
show examples
on some types of transportation like cars, automobiles or
air planes
Correct your spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
, which leads to a higher demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
emisions
Correct your spelling
emissions
used in order to run and results in air pollution.
Furthermore
, littering
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
irresponsible tourists is
also
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
major factor. When people come and visit, they use products and
then
randomly throw
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
out
lakes
Change preposition
of lakes
show examples
and land, which
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
water and land pollution. In conclusion,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
tourism can put
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traddtional
Correct your spelling
traditional
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the edge of
extinting
Correct your spelling
extinction
existing
and
damaging
Wrong verb form
damage
show examples
the
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
. I
am
Verb problem
agree
show examples
with the idea that tourism is negative.
Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
When constructing an argument, ensure logical sequencing of ideas and use of cohesive devices. Some ideas in the essay were presented in a confusing way, making it hard to follow the logic of the discussion at times.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion, making your opinion known. While both were present, they could be enhanced for greater clarity.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with clear supporting details and examples. The essay presented main points, but they lacked detailed development and specific examples to illustrate the arguments effectively.
task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task. While you provided an opinion as required, a more nuanced approach discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism might have resulted in a higher score.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Try to avoid vague language or unsupported generalizations. The essay would benefit from more detailed explanations and clearer articulation of ideas.
task achievement
Provide relevant and specific examples to support your points. The examples provided were quite general and failed to adequately illustrate the essay's arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural dilution
  • Environmental degradation
  • Responsible tourism
  • Ecotourism
  • Cultural conservation
  • Habitat destruction
  • Sustainable practices
  • Cultural exchange
  • Commercialization of cultural sites
  • Cultural heritage
  • Local ecosystems
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!