Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is a common trend for many countries to develop tourism because of its economic
benefit
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benefits
show examples
. Many people claim that it could negatively affect
to
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apply
show examples
the local cultures and the ecosystem. I totally agree with the statement for some reasons. To commence with, travel industrialization
attribute
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is attributed
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to the destruction of one’s
cultural
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culture
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and
custom
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customs
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. Tourists from some other places when come to visit attractions,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will tend to spend lack respect for the custom in that place
toghether
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together
with go against the standard.
For example
, travellers can be drunk in public or showing bad
behaviors
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behaviours
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to the local residents.
Due to
this
, the
identify
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identity
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of the region will be strongly threatened. To stand in the second position,
tourists
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tourist
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expanding
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expansion
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is one of the biggest risks which lead to environmental
damages
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damage
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. It is
Correct article usage
an obvioud
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obvioud
Correct your spelling
obvious
fact that the movement of travellers
need
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needs
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to
based
Add a missing verb
be based
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on some types of transportation like cars, automobiles or
air planes
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aeroplanes
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, which leads to a higher demand
of
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for
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emisions
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emissions
used in order to run and results in air pollution.
Furthermore
, littering
of
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by
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irresponsible tourists is
also
the
Correct article usage
a
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major factor. When people come and visit, they use products and
then
randomly throw
it
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them
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out
lakes
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of lakes
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and land, which
create
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creates
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water and land pollution. In conclusion,
as
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apply
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tourism can put
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traddtional
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traditional
cultural
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culture
show examples
to
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on
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the edge of
extinting
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extinction
existing
and
damaging
Wrong verb form
damage
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the
environmental
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environment
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. I
am
Verb problem
agree
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with the idea that tourism is negative.
Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on

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coherence cohesion
When constructing an argument, ensure logical sequencing of ideas and use of cohesive devices. Some ideas in the essay were presented in a confusing way, making it hard to follow the logic of the discussion at times.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion, making your opinion known. While both were present, they could be enhanced for greater clarity.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with clear supporting details and examples. The essay presented main points, but they lacked detailed development and specific examples to illustrate the arguments effectively.
task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task. While you provided an opinion as required, a more nuanced approach discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism might have resulted in a higher score.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Try to avoid vague language or unsupported generalizations. The essay would benefit from more detailed explanations and clearer articulation of ideas.
task achievement
Provide relevant and specific examples to support your points. The examples provided were quite general and failed to adequately illustrate the essay's arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural dilution
  • Environmental degradation
  • Responsible tourism
  • Ecotourism
  • Cultural conservation
  • Habitat destruction
  • Sustainable practices
  • Cultural exchange
  • Commercialization of cultural sites
  • Cultural heritage
  • Local ecosystems
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