Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is a common trend for many countries to develop tourism because of its economic
benefit
. Many people claim that it could negatively affect Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
to
the local cultures and the ecosystem. I totally agree with the statement for some reasons.
To commence with, travel industrialization Change preposition
apply
attribute
to the destruction of one’s Wrong verb form
is attributed
cultural
and Replace the word
culture
custom
. Tourists from some other places when come to visit attractions, Fix the agreement mistake
customs
they
will tend to spend lack respect for the custom in that place Correct pronoun usage
apply
toghether
with go against the standard. Correct your spelling
together
For example
, travellers can be drunk in public or showing bad behaviors
to the local residents. Change the spelling
behaviours
Due to
this
, the identify
of the region will be strongly threatened.
To stand in the second position, Replace the word
identity
tourists
Fix the agreement mistake
tourist
expanding
is one of the biggest risks which lead to environmental Replace the word
expansion
damages
. It is Fix the agreement mistake
damage
Correct article usage
an obvioud
obvioud
fact that the movement of travellers Correct your spelling
obvious
need
to Change the verb form
needs
based
on some types of transportation like cars, automobiles or Add a missing verb
be based
air planes
, which leads to a higher demand Correct your spelling
aeroplanes
of
Change preposition
for
emisions
used in order to run and results in air pollution. Correct your spelling
emissions
Furthermore
, littering of
irresponsible tourists is Change preposition
by
also
the
major factor. When people come and visit, they use products and Correct article usage
a
then
randomly throw it
out Correct pronoun usage
them
lakes
and land, which Change preposition
of lakes
create
water and land pollution.
In conclusion, Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
as
tourism can put Correct word choice
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
traddtional
Correct your spelling
traditional
cultural
Replace the word
culture
to
the edge of Change preposition
on
extinting
and Correct your spelling
extinction
existing
damaging
the Wrong verb form
damage
environmental
. I Replace the word
environment
am
with the idea that tourism is negative.Verb problem
agree
Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on
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coherence cohesion
When constructing an argument, ensure logical sequencing of ideas and use of cohesive devices. Some ideas in the essay were presented in a confusing way, making it hard to follow the logic of the discussion at times.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion, making your opinion known. While both were present, they could be enhanced for greater clarity.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with clear supporting details and examples. The essay presented main points, but they lacked detailed development and specific examples to illustrate the arguments effectively.
task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task. While you provided an opinion as required, a more nuanced approach discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism might have resulted in a higher score.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Try to avoid vague language or unsupported generalizations. The essay would benefit from more detailed explanations and clearer articulation of ideas.
task achievement
Provide relevant and specific examples to support your points. The examples provided were quite general and failed to adequately illustrate the essay's arguments.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
