IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Governemnts should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#governemnts #money #railways #roads
The matter of
chosing
Correct your spelling
choosing
 between a path for public transport vs a matter of building
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a more
self-centered
Change the spelling
self-centred
show examples
 way has been of discussion for a long time. I believe that
money
 should be spent on railways and I have a few arguments for it. Spending
money
 on railways would give us
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
more vast public transportation. Places that could not have been reached before would find the chance to
finally
 get a taste of the public transport life, resulting in less traffic, less air
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 and
lastly
 a faster arrival time at your desired destination. It would
also
 have a great effect on
morality
Add an article
the morality
show examples
 of the people as it would lead to a better life in general. One might say the same could be said about spending
money
 on roads. Spending
money
 on roads could
also
 lead to
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of taxis, buses and
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
modes of
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 like bikes and electric cars, both of which would
also
 result in a less polluted climate which would lead to less global warming. In the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
 I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 there is a lot of potential in spending the funds on railways, As in most countries the railway system doesn't connect every single point of the country together,
While
 there will mostly always
would
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
be a drivable path between any two points in the country.
Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Structure your essay clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and is not a continuation of the previous one.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. General statements need to be substantiated to persuade the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • carbon footprint
  • commuter congestion
  • interconnectivity
  • public infrastructure
  • operational costs
  • mass transit
  • urban development
  • energy efficiency
  • socio-economic disparities
  • heritage railways
  • tourist attractions
  • environmental conservation
  • urban sprawl
  • renewable energy
  • high-speed rail
  • infrastructure investment
  • traffic management
  • public-private partnership
  • cross-country connectivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: