Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn’t sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In our contemporary era, it has been debated whether someone is supposed to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

during the study. The majority of the society believe that it is good
practise
Correct your spelling
practice

The word practise doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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receive
Fix the infinitive
to receive

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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some
knoledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge

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and might
impove
Correct your spelling
improve

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other
skiils
Correct your spelling
skills

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while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others think that the time after school is a leisure time for
break
Fix the agreement mistake
breaks

It seems that break may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and activities. To examine both ways of
understang
Correct your spelling
understanding
understand

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,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will examine both
point
Change to a plural noun
points

The singular countable noun point follows the quantifier both, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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of view and give my view. Some elementary skills
about
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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career planning
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject skills. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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of the essence. First and foremost, part-time
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

teaches students
be
Add the particle
to be

It appears that the verb be should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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more responsible and how they should behave in
job
Add an article
the job
a job

The noun phrase job seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
studends
Correct your spelling
students

If you don’t want studends to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

might be learned how they should
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, which aspects
is
Change the verb form
are

The verb is does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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crucial in their job.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they will know what certainly must be ready in a certain period of time.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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communication skills play a key role
as a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters

If you don’t want younsters to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

learns
Correct subject-verb agreement
learn

It seems that the verb learns does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to communicate with everyone.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

ability would help young
emloyees
Correct your spelling
employees

If you don’t want emloyees to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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assist guests or tourists especially, if they
will
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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sphere. Obviously,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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communication skills teach
young
Correct article usage
the young

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
generation
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

work
Fix the infinitive
to work

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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in tandem,
making
Wrong verb form
make

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb making. Consider changing it.

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new friends and develop
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks

It seems that network may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

aspect
influence
Change the verb form
influences

The plural verb influence does not appear to agree with the singular subject this aspect. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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their future careers and plans.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, teenagers are under pressure at school because of different
taska
Correct your spelling
tasks

If you don’t want taska to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and exams.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

aspect
make
Change the verb form
makes

The plural verb make does not appear to agree with the singular subject This aspect. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
youngers
Correct your spelling
youngsters

The word youngers doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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more
stressful
Replace the word
stressed

The word stressful doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
, and they should release
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this negative feelings
Change the determiner
this negative feeling
these negative feelings

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun feelings. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, teenagers can join
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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different
cources
Correct your spelling
courses
sources

If you don’t want cources to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that the comma after such as is unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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music,
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports

It seems that sport may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, painting, cooking so forth.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some students plan to carry on their future education, and they want to go to tutorials to supply extra lessons.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, both points of view have pros and cons
depend
Wrong verb form
depending

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb depend. Consider changing it.

show examples
on some situations. I
formly
Correct your spelling
firmly
formally
formerly

If you don’t want formly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

agree that every student should decide whether they want to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or not, and choose
more
Add an article
a more
the more

The noun phrase more advantageous option seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
advantageous
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options

It seems that option may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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on the assumption of their willings and schedule.

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introduction
Your introduction is unclear and your thesis statement requires refinement to set a clear direction for the essay. It is important that the introduction provides a clear background to the topic and clearly outlines the scope and direction of your discussion.
paragraph structure
Work on structuring your paragraphs more clearly, with a single main idea in each one, followed by supporting information and examples. A clear topic sentence should commence each paragraph, guiding the reader through your argument or discussion.
cohesion
Your essay has some logical sequencing, but at times the progression of ideas and points could be more clear and coherent. Try to relate all paragraphs to the central topic, ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task response
Refer back to the question throughout the essay to ensure clear task achievement. Your essay should directly address the prompts provided, showing awareness of all aspects of the task.
example usage
Examples used should be relevant and specific. They need to be developed sufficiently to clarify your points. Where possible, include personal examples or observations to support your arguments.
conclusion
The conclusion should clearly summarize the main arguments presented in your essay, reflect on the content of the body paragraphs, and clearly state your own opinion. It should not introduce any new points.
language usage
Your use of language shows an attempt to provide a range of vocabulary and structures, but there are recurring errors that can cause misunderstanding. Pay attention to grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation. Practice writing sentences that are both complex and accurate.
spelling and word forms
Accurately spell key terms related to the essay topic, and make sure to use the correct form of words (e.g. 'knowledge' instead of 'knoledge', 'learns' instead of 'learned'). Consistently check for these types of errors during and after writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Part-time job
  • Financial literacy
  • Work ethic
  • Discipline
  • Job market
  • Academic performance
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Labor laws
  • Work-life balance
  • Skill development
  • Monetary independence
  • Career prospects
  • Time management
  • Peer pressure
  • Rest and recreation
  • Minimum wage
  • Skillset enhancement
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Personal growth
  • Adolescent development
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