Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn’t sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In our contemporary era, it has been debated whether someone is supposed to
work
during the study. The majority of the society believe that it is good practise
Correct your spelling
practice
receive
some Fix the infinitive
to receive
knoledge
and might Correct your spelling
knowledge
impove
other Correct your spelling
improve
skiils
Correct your spelling
skills
while
others think that the time after school is a leisure time for break
and activities. To examine both ways of Fix the agreement mistake
breaks
understang
, Correct your spelling
understanding
understand
this
essay will examine both point
of view and give my view.
Some elementary skills Change to a plural noun
points
about
career planning Change preposition
in
is
of the essence. First and foremost, part-time Change the verb form
are
work
teaches students be
more responsible and how they should behave in Add the particle
to be
job
. Add an article
the job
a job
Moreover
, studends
might be learned how they should Correct your spelling
students
work
, which aspects is
crucial in their job. Change the verb form
are
For instance
, they will know what certainly must be ready in a certain period of time. In addition
, the
communication skills play a key role Correct article usage
apply
as a result
, younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
learns
to communicate with everyone. Correct subject-verb agreement
learn
For example
, this
ability would help young emloyees
Correct your spelling
employees
to
assist guests or tourists especially, if they Verb problem
apply
will
Verb problem
apply
work
in tourism
sphere. Obviously, Correct article usage
the tourism
the
communication skills teach Correct article usage
apply
young
generation Correct article usage
the young
work
in tandem, Fix the infinitive
to work
making
new friends and develop Wrong verb form
make
network
. Fix the agreement mistake
networks
Thus
, this
aspect influence
their future careers and plans.
Change the verb form
influences
On the other hand
, teenagers are under pressure at school because of different taska
and exams. Correct your spelling
tasks
This
aspect make
Change the verb form
makes
youngers
more Correct your spelling
youngsters
stressful
, and they should release Replace the word
stressed
this negative feelings
. Change the determiner
this negative feeling
these negative feelings
For instance
, teenagers can join to
different Change preposition
apply
cources
Correct your spelling
courses
sources
such
as,
music, Remove the comma
apply
sport
, painting, cooking so forth. Fix the agreement mistake
sports
Furthermore
, some students plan to carry on their future education, and they want to go to tutorials to supply extra lessons.
To sum up
, both points of view have pros and cons depend
on some situations. I Wrong verb form
depending
formly
agree that every student should decide whether they want to Correct your spelling
firmly
formally
formerly
work
or not, and choose more
advantageous Add an article
a more
the more
option
on the assumption of their willings and schedule.Fix the agreement mistake
options
Submitted by abdurahimov03 on
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introduction
Your introduction is unclear and your thesis statement requires refinement to set a clear direction for the essay. It is important that the introduction provides a clear background to the topic and clearly outlines the scope and direction of your discussion.
paragraph structure
Work on structuring your paragraphs more clearly, with a single main idea in each one, followed by supporting information and examples. A clear topic sentence should commence each paragraph, guiding the reader through your argument or discussion.
cohesion
Your essay has some logical sequencing, but at times the progression of ideas and points could be more clear and coherent. Try to relate all paragraphs to the central topic, ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task response
Refer back to the question throughout the essay to ensure clear task achievement. Your essay should directly address the prompts provided, showing awareness of all aspects of the task.
example usage
Examples used should be relevant and specific. They need to be developed sufficiently to clarify your points. Where possible, include personal examples or observations to support your arguments.
conclusion
The conclusion should clearly summarize the main arguments presented in your essay, reflect on the content of the body paragraphs, and clearly state your own opinion. It should not introduce any new points.
language usage
Your use of language shows an attempt to provide a range of vocabulary and structures, but there are recurring errors that can cause misunderstanding. Pay attention to grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation. Practice writing sentences that are both complex and accurate.
spelling and word forms
Accurately spell key terms related to the essay topic, and make sure to use the correct form of words (e.g. 'knowledge' instead of 'knoledge', 'learns' instead of 'learned'). Consistently check for these types of errors during and after writing.