Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
believe that the government
is misuse
their money for Change the verb form
is misusing
arts
and it could be usedfor
other Correct your spelling
used for
crusial
needs for every person. I personally disagree Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
wih
that statement because Correct your spelling
with
of
Change preposition
apply
art
is one
of the best way
to develop mental and it is a cultural identity Change to a plural noun
ways
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
wih
other countries.
On Correct your spelling
with
one
hand, arts
can contributed
to mental health for Change the verb form
contribute
be contributed
people
. Music, dance and art
are thr
Correct your spelling
the
entertaintment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
resouces
for Correct your spelling
resources
people
.When people
faced
with any problem Add a missing verb
are faced
arts
have a strong skill to solve that using their technique. We can use Replace the word
artists
art
as a therapy without any pills. Moreover
, music and dance therapy can be used as a treatment for heart patients as well as
people
who have mental disorders. For example
, most of
the countries Change preposition
apply
such
as Canada, America and England are using this
therapy for their patients. It helps to reduse
Correct your spelling
reduce
cost
of medical treatments.
Correct article usage
the cost
On the other hand
, art
is a cultural identity for isolated
their own uniqueness. Every country Wrong verb form
isolates
have
various Change the verb form
has
arts
related to their culture. The government
should give assistence
to protect Correct your spelling
assistance
that
various kinds of Correct determiner usage
the
arts
. Fix the agreement mistake
art
In addition
, art
is the best income source, because art
helps to promote tourisms
. Most Fix the agreement mistake
tourism
of
foreign travellers Change preposition
apply
keen
on Add a missing verb
are keen
arts
. For Correct article usage
the arts
instense
, Sri Correct your spelling
instance
lankans
wood carvings the Change the capitalization
Lankans
one
of world
famous Correct article usage
the world
arts
. Nevertherless
, Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
government
should give their attention to protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
this
vital source.
In conclusion, art
is not wasting money of
Change preposition
on
government
. It is one
of the income source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
the
world. Supporting Change preposition
of the
arts
is important for a government
and it enhance
the quality of life and Change the verb form
enhances
tourism
industry.Correct article usage
the tourism
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you organize your essay into clear paragraphs, which include an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, to maintain a logical flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear, developed examples. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, and this idea should be explicitly stated in a topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher coherence score, make use of cohesive devices (such as linking words and transition phrases) more effectively to lead the reader from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Fully address the task by responding to all parts of the prompt. Ensure that you develop your arguments comprehensively, providing a balanced discussion if required by the question.
task achievement
Use a variety of sentence structures and precise, relevant vocabulary to articulate your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid repetition and aim for clarity in expression.
task achievement
Include relevant, specific examples to support your views. These examples should be detailed and relevant to the question to demonstrate a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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