Shops should not be allowed to sell food and drinks that are scientifically proven to be bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
it has become increasingly common for the physical
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
should
not be allowed to any edibles and beverages . Some Verb problem
apply
people
believe that it is not reality and have many problems when shops do not sell it . However
, I think it is necessary to restrict buying any food
outdoors.In this
essay
we discussion about Add a comma
essay,
this
problem
No one can deny the fact that shop
buy Wrong verb form
shopping to
food
have
many benefits for Correct subject-verb agreement
has
people
do
not have a lot of time , but we should Correct pronoun usage
who do
have
spend Unnecessary verb
apply
of
time preparing Change preposition
apply
the
breakfast , in lieu ofCorrect article usage
apply
stay
up late we should wake up early and spend Change the form of the verb
staying
of
time Change preposition
apply
to doing
Verb problem
making
food
it much better .The immediate result it produces is can polish up lifestyle and make many positive thing
like we can optimal brain function Change to a plural noun
things
that is
very important to product in jobs .Perhaps the most obvious result of
is we can against many diseases and improve physical and mental health.Nothing could be more apparent than evidence that In Change preposition
apply
USA
, Correct article usage
the USA
the
most Correct article usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
people
always make breakfast instead
of eat
outdoors.Wrong verb form
eating
By contrast
, shops do not buy any food
or drinks are increase unemployed
and many Replace the word
increased unemployment
negative
Correct word choice
other negative
thing
.Probably there is some truth Change to a plural noun
things
i
the idea that we should limit Correct your spelling
in
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
in store
.
On Add a hyphen
in-store
other
hand , one thing which is equally important that Correct article usage
the other
the
packaged Correct article usage
apply
food
is not exist
and dump the waste which is more increase Change the verb form
does not exist
during
many years it will be fallen , Change preposition
over
that is
also
responsible for the
many Correct article usage
apply
thing
about Change to a plural noun
things
environment
and destroy the natural habitats will be solved like air pollution, …..As Add an article
the environment
result
Correct article usage
a result
people
in the world would have the green revolution.The most familiar example of this
is In japan
, Correct your spelling
in Japan
the
Correct article usage
apply
package
Change the verb form
packaged
food
usually
Add a missing verb
is usually
materials
Verb problem
apply
eco friendly
and have many method to recycle waste .Add a hyphen
eco-friendly
By contrast
, do not any
information to ensure that it will be sustainable.
In conclusion, Add a missing verb
have any
personally
Add a comma
personally,
i
think is very important Change the capitalization
I
for
Change preposition
to
restrict
some Change the verb form
restricting
food
and beverages it will be many positive thing
when we do it and have Change to a plural noun
things
green
Correct article usage
a green
of
lifeChange preposition
apply
Submitted by sinh.ielts on
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your opinion in response to the prompt and sets the stage for your argument. Your conclusion should reiterate your main points and clearly summarize your position for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clear logical structure. This includes organizing your ideas into distinct paragraphs with topic sentences, supporting details, and a concluding sentence that links back to the main point.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and evidence to support your main points. These should be clear, relevant, and enhance your argument, helping to persuade the reader of your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Work on the coherence of your essay by ensuring that sentences and paragraphs smoothly transition from one idea to the next. Utilize cohesive devices like linking words and phrases to tie your ideas together.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite