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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the distribution of world's water and the use of water in three countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the distribution of world's water and the use of water in three countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #distribution #world #water #three #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The rendered set of pie charts illustrates the distribution of the world's
water
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the bar graph provides the information regarding use of
water
Use synonyms
 in three main countries namely Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Canada. The data has been calibrated in terms of percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
salt
water
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 the highest proportion and the largest amount of
water
Use synonyms
 is used in
agriculture
Add an article
the agriculture
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 and industry
sector
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the given data, in all
water
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
show examples
category
Add a comma
category,
show examples
 the figure shows 3% of fresh
water
Use synonyms
 and 97% was salt
water
Use synonyms
 from
Ocean's
Change noun form
oceans
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the highest proportion of 79% was considered in
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
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water
Use synonyms
 which is from ice and glaciers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, 1% of surface
water
Use synonyms
 was freshed.
Lastly
Linking Words
, nearly 20% of
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 was considered to be drinking
water
Use synonyms
. Moving
further
Linking Words
, Egypt
as well as
Linking Words
 Saudi Arabia spent
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 amount of percentage in
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 80% and nearly 78% respectively,
Whereas
Linking Words
 the least amount of
water
Use synonyms
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 used in
domestic
Add an article
the domestic
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 and industrial
Use synonyms
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Canada
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 80% of
Use synonyms
water
Correct pronoun usage
its water
show examples
 in industrialization.
Submitted by svmaibcamaibs on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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