IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The best way to solve the traffic congestion in the city is to provide free public transport 24 hours a day, seven days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#traffic #congestion #city #transport #hours #seven #week
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
traffic
Use synonyms
 jam has been increasing rapidly in many countries
due to
Linking Words
 the increase of purchasing vehicles by
people
Use synonyms
. The issue of phantom
traffic
Use synonyms
 can be resolved by free public transport.
However
Linking Words
, it is partly true, there are multiple options to reduce phantom
traffic
Use synonyms
 on the road. The government should construct
roads
Use synonyms
 to divert the
traffic
Use synonyms
 and build new
flyover
Fix the agreement mistake
flyovers
show examples
 in the cities.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate
further
Linking Words
 in the following paragraphs. In the modern world, everyone has their own car which causes
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams. Public transport has
also
Linking Words
 taken part in
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the large buses are carrying huge space on the road which creates the problem of phantom
traffic
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams can be reduced by the local government taking some steps. It develops new
roads
Use synonyms
 because some
roads
Use synonyms
 are broken
due to
Linking Words
 underground maintenance.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, to cut down the
congestion
Use synonyms
 on the
roads
Use synonyms
 the size of buses should minimise. The authority should give awareness to the public of driving less to some distance. To encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to walk extra to physically well.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can remain active and healthy.
In addition
Linking Words
, the administration can build flyovers to overcome the
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems. The construction of the flyover has a huge impact on the diversion of vehicles and minimises
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams. It
also
Linking Words
 improves pedestrian safety and provides space for emergency vehicles to move quickly. The impact of the flyover construction to
curb
Wrong verb form
curbing
show examples
 the
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
 problem has been assessed in terms of
traffic
Use synonyms
 decongestion, time-saving and
fuel saving
Add a hyphen
fuel-saving
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
 can be overcome by making flyovers in the countries and
people
Use synonyms
 can go easily.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
 should be lowered by building new routes to flow the
traffic
Use synonyms
 on the
roads
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, phantom
traffic
Use synonyms
 can be solved by making new
roads
Use synonyms
 and flyovers to save
people
Use synonyms
's time and energy.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should avoid driving more in the cities and make a habit of walking for little distance.
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay displays some organization but it needs a clearer progression of ideas. You must ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea which is developed, rather than introducing new ideas towards the end of the essay. Think about using a wider range of cohesive devices like 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' and 'as a result' to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Your response somewhat addresses the prompt, but the position is not always clear or consistent throughout the essay. Make sure to fully address the question, which asks to what extent you agree or disagree with the provision of free public transport as the best solution for traffic congestion. You should state your opinion more explicitly and consistently, and develop it throughout the essay, with relevant examples and explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban planning
  • mass transit systems
  • traffic flow
  • rush hour
  • vehicle emissions
  • sustainable transportation
  • infrastructure development
  • commuter habits
  • overcrowding issues
  • public funding
  • quality of service
  • economic feasibility
  • environmental impact
  • modal shift
  • accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: