Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be fo people who do this.
In
morden
days, some Correct your spelling
modern
people
think that young
generation is better Correct article usage
the young
to take
a Change preposition
off taking
job
while
they are still study
. I will discuss the benefits and Change the verb form
are still studying
shortcoming
of the essay and give my own Fix the agreement mistake
shortcomings
opion
.
Nowadays, Correct your spelling
opinion
less
and Correct quantifier usage
fewer
less
children in the world and single Change the quantifier
fewer
child
get Fix the agreement mistake
children
spoil
by Wrong verb form
spoiled
thier parnets
. Most young Correct your spelling
their parents
people
does
not have a Change the verb form
do
lot
skills, Add the preposition
lot of
however
, it is a good opportunity for them to use their after hours
or free Add a hyphen
after-hours
time
from school
to get some jobs and have some life
experience
or new skills. Study is important but also
life
skills and experience
are important tips for reality. In society, most company
like to work with Fix the agreement mistake
companies
who
already have some Correct pronoun usage
those who
life
experience
rather than who is mom
or dad's boy/girl.
Correct article usage
a mom
For instance
, Five starts
restaurant is looking for a new worker and both Candidates give Capitalize word
Starts
the
CV Change the word
their
and
one of them have some Correct word choice
apply
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
experience
and Correct article usage
the others
others
just finished Correct quantifier usage
other
school
, most of time
the first Add an article
the time
job
seeker will get the job
.
On the other hand
, there are many job
traps in our life
. Especially, they
are some illegal groups looking for young workers who need quick money and without adults watching. Correct pronoun usage
there
This
is type advertising
very attractive to Change preposition
of advertising
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
wants
to have a Correct subject-verb agreement
want
job
immediately. Some young people
do not the
trick because they want to find a Add a missing verb
do the
job
and get quick money it is easy to be fooled. In that case, it is good to have some life
experience
but it might be an expensive lesson. For example
, on the street some strangers looking
for Wrong verb form
look
people
who is
dream Unnecessary verb
apply
to be
an actor/Change preposition
of being
actress
and introduce their company. Fix the agreement mistake
actresses
People
have no clue and get excited to sing
the contract and end up Correct your spelling
sign
been
Change the form of the verb
being
force
to take some naked Change the form of the verb
forced
piuctures
.
Correct your spelling
pictures
However
, I agree that people
should get a job
during their school
. It help
them to know Change the verb form
helps
the
society early and Correct article usage
apply
also
help
them to earn Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
working
Replace the word
work
experience
.
In conclusion, fining
a Correct your spelling
finding
job
during school
free time
or school
hoildays
is Correct your spelling
holidays
a good advice
for Remove the article
good advice
a piece of good advice
a bit of good advice
youger
group, it is Correct your spelling
younger
your
also
important to ask advice from who is older than you before take
the Change the verb form
taking
job
.Submitted by kimi080810 on
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coherence cohesion
It is important to maintain clear logical structure throughout your essay. This means having a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, each serving a distinct purpose.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to clearly state the topic and summarize the main points of your argument, respectively.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each body paragraph has a clear main idea and at least one supporting argument or example.
task achievement
Task response requires that you address all parts of the prompt. Your essay should discuss the advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way and then provide a reasoned conclusion based on them.
task achievement
Make sure to explain your ideas fully to ensure clarity and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Use a range of relevant and specific examples to support your main points and make your arguments more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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