IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

University students always focus on one specific subject, but some people think that universities should encourage their students to study a wide range of subjects in addition to their own subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#university #students #focus #people #universities #study #range #subjects #addition
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Studying
one
 major
streams
Change to a singular noun
stream
show examples
 is quite popular among undergraduates in order to
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
give more focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
one
 major curriculum
instead
 of studying an extra syllabus.
This
 trend provides more
workload
along with
 stress.
Therefore
, I strongly disagree with
this
 statement for the following reasons.
To begin
 with,
learning
Change preposition
by learning
show examples
 only
one
 major
streams
Change to a singular noun
stream
show examples
 in college time
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
 can get better
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their final
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
 and they will obtain
a better job positions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better job position
better job positions
show examples
. Adding extra majors in university can lead to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more
workload
students
Change preposition
for students
show examples
 in order to they will be given extra effort and time to prove and pass the examinations.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical
students
 choose
one
 major
streams
Change to a singular noun
stream
show examples
 in universities,
therefore
 they
give
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 more
attentions
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
show examples
 to
study
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
 hard in
one
 syllabus.
Hence
, in my opinion, I think studying more curriculums can bring
enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
show examples
workload
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university learners
undoubtedly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Moreover
, learning extra subjects
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 university periods can lead to
getting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
stress and depression,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
 they might
be done
Verb problem
commit
show examples
suicides
Fix the agreement mistake
suicide
show examples
. Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they do not
handles
Change the verb form
handle
show examples
 more
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 simultaneously.
For example
, a recent survey said that more than 60% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universities
Change the noun form
university
show examples
 learners suffer
Change preposition
from depressions
show examples
depressions
Fix the agreement mistake
depression
show examples
due to
 they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 handle more
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
one
 time.
Then
,
students
 should select only
one
 major syllabus
instead
 of
add
Change the verb form
adding
show examples
 extras.
To conclude
, learning
one
main stream
Correct your spelling
mainstream
show examples
 will give more benefits to the college scholars rather than selecting more
curriculams
Correct your spelling
curriculums
curriculum
 in order to avoid stress and
workload
.
Then
, I strongly disagree with
this
 statement in the above-mentioned details and I hope
this
 process brings enormous
beneficials
Correct your spelling
benefits
 to society.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position clearly.
Main Points & Examples
Develop your main points with specific examples and clear explanations. Avoid vague statements and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Logical Structure & Coherence
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Use linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs, and make sure each paragraph follows logically from the one before it.
Position & Argument Development
Your position on the subject should be consistently maintained throughout the essay. Make sure all parts of the essay contribute to the argument you are making.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: