IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie chart below represents the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The bar chart shows how these causes affected three regions of the world in the 1990s. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The pie chart below represents the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The bar chart shows how these causes affected three regions of the world in the 1990s. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#land #bar #three #regions #world #summarise #data #features #comparisons
The provided pie chart presents the
reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
productive
Correct article usage
the productive
show examples
 reduction of farming land and the table illustrates the percentage of these
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
in particular
 countries in 1990.
Overall
, it can be seen that over-grazing
took
Verb problem
made
show examples
 the most contribution, followed by deforestation and over-cultivation.
Also
, for the most total land degraded country was
Europe
while
 the
lessest
Correct your spelling
lowest
 country was North
America
.
Firstly
, the highest
porportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of the
reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 reduction was over-grazing
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 35%
whereas
 it was five times of other reasons. Deforestation took the second high distribution
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 30% and over-cultivation was 2% less than it.
Europe
 had the majority of total land degraded
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 23% but North
America
 only around
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
one-fourth and had the
lessest
Correct your spelling
lowest
 proportion among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 compared countries.
Europe
 had the largest share
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 deforestation
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
9.8%,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it is the
lessest
Correct your spelling
lowest
reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 North
America
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 only 0.2%.
Although
 the main
reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 North
America in
Change preposition
America's
show examples
 productive reduction was over-cultivation, Oceania had no contribution
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
.
While
 over-grazing for Oceania
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 11.3%,
Europe
 and North
America
 were 5.5% and 1.5% respectively.
Submitted by llavina61 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words reason, europe, america with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduction" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: