IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A serious problem affecting countries right across the globe is the lack of water for drinking, washing and other household uses. Why do many countries face water shortage and what could be done to alleviate this problem?

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Use synonyms
Water
Add an article
The water
show examples
 crisis has been a global concern, especially in the specific drier parts of the world since time immemorial. There are several reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon, which will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay, and the stakeholders ought to adopt several solutions to overcome
this
Linking Words
 situation. The scarcity of clean
water
Use synonyms
 has increased
as
Change preposition
due to
show examples
 the lack of resources and inappropriate
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 usage. One of the most significant reasons is unwise
water
Use synonyms
 utilization.
For example
Linking Words
, it is common for people to take a bath and let the tap open even when they
did
Wrong verb form
do
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 not really use it.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the main
water
Use synonyms
 source is from
ground
Add an article
the ground
show examples
 and there are a lot of
manufacture
Replace the word
manufacturing
show examples
 activities which reduce the availability of it. The
water
Use synonyms
 from rivers
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 polluted by industrial and human movements which can
thus
Linking Words
 jeopardize the
scarce
Replace the word
scarcity
show examples
 of fresh
water
Use synonyms
. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
, the government institutions should have an awareness about the urgency to maintain
water
Use synonyms
 accessibility. They ought to establish
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
federal legislation for companies that deteriorating
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is paramount to influence individuals to be more mindful
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 using
water
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis.
For instance
Linking Words
, the responsible ministry could create socialization
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 in schools,
coorporations
Correct your spelling
corporations
, or
seminar
Fix the agreement mistake
seminars
show examples
 for
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
. Unless the government
released
Wrong verb form
releases
show examples
 unambiguous rules,
this
Linking Words
 issue will not
be ameliorate
Change the verb form
be ameliorated
show examples
. In conclusion, every person is responsible for
water
Use synonyms
 sanitary.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in order to prevent it
compound
Replace the word
compounded
show examples
, we need federal legislation and solidarity to prevent the surge of
Use synonyms
water
Add an article
the water
a water
show examples
 crisis. I believe the burden
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 only for the government
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 for every people across the world.

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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay displays a basic logical structure, with an introduction and conclusion present. However, main points could be better supported with clearer examples and explanations. To improve, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and all sentences within that paragraph connect to the main point. Transitions could be smoother and more varied.
task achievement
For task achievement, you addressed the topic but could provide a more thorough response with clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Include a wider range of relevant and specific examples to support your points. Ensure your response directly answers all parts of the question and expands on those ideas with detailed explanation.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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