IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some countries have recently passed laws limiting the daily working hours of employees. Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact.

#countries #laws #hours #employees #impact
Some
people
 believe that
limite
Correct your spelling
limiting
 the freedom of
employees
 to
work
 is not appropriate. I believe limiting the working
hours
 can help
employees
 be more productive during
work
hours
. On the one hand,
employees
 can be productive after getting enough rest.
Employees
 take
fully
Change the adverb
full
show examples
 rest after
working
Add an article
a working
the working
show examples
 period which
maintain
Change the verb form
maintains
show examples
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
 balance. When they get back to
work
, they can be fully concentrated at
work
 and have a better
performamnce
Correct your spelling
performance
 at
work
.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, they help the company make more profits in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long term.
For instance
, in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, the government have
limite
Correct your spelling
limit
50
Change preposition
of 50
show examples
 working
hours
 per week. Many employers found their
employees
 give out a higher quality of
work
 before
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 government set up the
regluation
Correct your spelling
regulations
.
On the other hand
, some
people
 think the law
control
Correct subject-verb agreement
controls
show examples
people
 who want to make more money.
Low income
Add a hyphen
Low-income
show examples
 family cannot pay for their
nesccesities
Correct your spelling
necessities
 by working only one job, they rely on
over working
Correct your spelling
overworking
show examples
 to earn extra money to cover their basic need.
This
 may heavy the family
finicial
Correct your spelling
financial
 burden and they may
commmitte
Correct your spelling
commit
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 in order to get extra money.
For example
, 12% of
people
 decided to
conduct
Verb problem
commit
show examples
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
due to
 limited working
hours
. In conclusion, despite some low income family might need extra salaries to support their needs. I agree
by
Change preposition
that
show examples
 limiting working
hours
 helps labour to focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
work
 during office time and
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
show examples
productive
Correct article usage
a productive
show examples
 working environment.
Submitted by phoebeyeung5283 on

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Task Response: The essay addresses the topic, but the response lacks full development of ideas. Introduce each main point more clearly and expand on the ideas with more detailed explanations or implications. Ensure each paragraph presents a distinct idea and connects back to the question, exploring not only the direct consequences but also indirect ones.
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is apparent, but there are areas needing improvement for better flow and clarity. Work on transitioning more smoothly between sentences and ideas, as well as improving overall paragraph structure. Avoid abrupt topic changes and ensure that pronouns or connectors refer clearly to the proper nouns or ideas they are meant to replace or connect.
Task Achievement: While the essay provides some response to the prompt, the ideas presented are somewhat general and lack depth. To fully address task achievement, provide a more comprehensive coverage of the topic with nuanced arguments and a balanced discussion that weighs both sides. Use specific examples to illustrate points and to make arguments more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Burnout
  • Work-life balance
  • Productivity
  • Economic output
  • Labor hours
  • Stress levels
  • Unemployment rates
  • Wages
  • Salaries
  • Standard of living
  • Corporate culture
  • Workflows
  • Operational costs
  • Profit margins
  • Restructuring
  • Job satisfaction
  • Leisure time
  • Adaptation
  • Physical and mental health
What to do next:
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