Purchasing cars for the first time in developing countries has led to severe problems. Discuss the causes of this issue and propose potential solutions.

#cars #first #time #countries

Initial purchasing of cars is worsening road conditions in developing

countries

. The root cause of

this

issue is the cult of chasing modernity.

However

, changes in modernism can be employed to overcome it. The primary reason for people in developing

countries

depositing massively in order to own a

car

Change the article

show examples

ideal stating that the

car

is a symbol of civilization. Because the standard of living in developing

countries

is improving significantly, citizens in these nations

also

become more willing to buy goods. They are tightened to consumerism, star chasing luxury things and automobile is the most popular.

Consequently

, a large number of

car

owners worsen the traffic in developing nations.

For example

, Vietnam, a developing area,

facing

Wrong verb form

faces

show examples

massive traffic jams owing to the increase in

car

usage. Fortunately, a solution can be found in individual attitudes which can be affected by the habit of using transport from people in developed

countries

. The modern areas are where the bias for automobiles stems from, if citizens in these areas can change the way they travel, it will

also

change those in the rest

countries

This

can be helped by government policies in

increase

Replace the word

increasing

show examples

excises on buying cars and

also

taxes on

car

ownership. Take German for consideration, because of the correct policies from

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

and a high sense of response from citizens, they have lowered the

car

proportions and even switched to using bikes mainly. In conclusion, buying a

car

for the first time is rooted in the notion that the

car

is the symbol of civilization.

On the contrary

, changing the ideal of modernism can improve the situation.

Submitted by 11E4 Community on Mon Nov 27 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical progression of points throughout the essay. Use paragraphs effectively to organize ideas and use cohesive devices to connect them.

task achievement

Make sure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Give equal attention to discussing the causes and proposing solutions. Offer clear, developed ideas with specific examples or evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Purchasing cars for the first time in developing countries has led to severe problems. Discuss the causes of this issue and propose potential solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

Young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities such as hiking and climbing in nature. Why is this? And how can we encourage them to go out?

Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as poor people become poorer and rich people become richer. What problems could this situations casue??what are the solutions to address those problems??

Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?