IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar
chart
Use synonyms
 depicts the number of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 who
partecipated
Correct your spelling
participated
participate
 in evening courses at an education
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 for adults in 2009. The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 shows us the age of these
partecipants
Correct your spelling
participants
.
Overall
Linking Words
, evening courses were more popular for
women
Use synonyms
. Most
partecipants
Correct your spelling
participants
 were over 50 or middle-aged. Looking at the bar
chart
Use synonyms
, we can see quite a difference between the two sexes. The course with the highest number of enrolled students was Language
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
40 of them were
women
Use synonyms
 and only 20
men
Add a missing verb
were men
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the sculpture class seemed more popular
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 men: with 10 male students and around 5
women
Use synonyms
. For painting the interest rate looked quite even between the two sexes, with 25 men and 30
women
Use synonyms
 enrolled. Regarding the pie
chart
Use synonyms
, evening courses have only
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
5% of students who are under 20 years old. 42% of them
ar
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
 50 or over and 25% are between 40 and 59, making
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 evening classes quite popular for middle-aged.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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