IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #numbers #men #women #courses #adult #education #centre #year #information #ages #course #participants #report #university #lecturer #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar
chart
Use synonyms
 depicts the number of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 who
partecipated
Correct your spelling
participated
participate
 in evening courses at an education
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 for adults in 2009. The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 shows us the age of these
partecipants
Correct your spelling
participants
.
Overall
Linking Words
, evening courses were more popular for
women
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. Most
partecipants
Correct your spelling
participants
 were over 50 or middle-aged. Looking at the bar
chart
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, we can see quite a difference between the two sexes. The course with the highest number of enrolled students was Language
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
40 of them were
women
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 and only 20
men
Add a missing verb
were men
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the sculpture class seemed more popular
between
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among
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 men: with 10 male students and around 5
women
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. For painting the interest rate looked quite even between the two sexes, with 25 men and 30
women
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 enrolled. Regarding the pie
chart
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, evening courses have only
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
5% of students who are under 20 years old. 42% of them
ar
Correct your spelling
are
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 50 or over and 25% are between 40 and 59, making
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 evening classes quite popular for middle-aged.
Submitted by rizzi.flavia99 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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