The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #numbers #men #women #courses #adult #education #centre #year #information #ages #course #participants #report #university #lecturer #summarise #features #comparisons

The given bar chart describes the numbers of

men

and

women

, attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009.The pie chart

illustates

Correct your spelling

illustrates

information about the ages of the course participants. The bar chart states that

women

stands

Change the verb form

stand

show examples

high in every

activities

Change to a singular noun

activity

show examples

of attending various evening classes. The

people

bteween

Correct your spelling

between

50 and above has the highest percentage among all other

person

Change the wording

people

show examples

. In

drama

Add a comma

drama,

show examples

there are 10

men

attending the

eveining

Correct your spelling

evening

tution

Correct your spelling

tuition

.For painting more than

20men

Correct your spelling

20 men

and 30

womens

Correct your spelling

women

women's

are attending the courses .The

least

Correct word choice

lowest

show examples

number was in sculpture class, the strength of

men

was more than

women

.40

women

and 20

men

are attending the language course ,

this

was the highest among all the others . The

people

under age 20 have

tha

Correct your spelling

the

least amount who attending the classes .

people

under

age

Correct article usage

the age

show examples

Change preposition

of 40

show examples

to 49

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

the second largest percentage

Change preposition

apply

show examples

26% . The more amount of

people

who are going to evening course is between the age of 50 or above with the percentage of 42.

Submitted by insighttribez on Mon Nov 27 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Add some linking words.

▼

Linking words: Add more linking words.

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, people with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "numbers of" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

175 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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