IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #numbers #men #women #courses #adult #education #centre #year #information #ages #course #participants #report #university #lecturer #summarise #features #comparisons
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The given bar chart describes the numbers of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
, attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009.The pie chart
illustates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 information about the ages of the course participants. The bar chart states that
women
Use synonyms
stands
Change the verb form
stand
show examples
 high in every
activities
Change to a singular noun
activity
show examples
 of attending various evening classes. The
people
Use synonyms
bteween
Correct your spelling
between
 50 and above has the highest percentage among all other
person
Change the wording
people
show examples
. In
drama
Add a comma
drama,
show examples
 there are 10
men
Use synonyms
 attending the
eveining
Correct your spelling
evening
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
.For painting more than
20men
Correct your spelling
20 men
 and 30
womens
Correct your spelling
women
women's
 are attending the courses .The
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 number was in sculpture class, the strength of
men
Use synonyms
 was more than
women
Use synonyms
 .40
women
Use synonyms
 and 20
men
Use synonyms
 are attending the language course ,
this
Linking Words
 was the highest among all the others . The
people
Use synonyms
 under age 20 have
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 least amount who attending the classes .
people
Use synonyms
 under
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
40
Change preposition
of 40
show examples
 to 49
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the second largest percentage
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
26% . The more amount of
people
Use synonyms
 who are going to evening course is between the age of 50 or above with the percentage of 42.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "numbers of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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